Success in Kindness

On Tuesday I went to see the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony with my daughter's class. I was like "Free tickets to the symphony? Sign me up!" I was expecting my daughter to be clinging to me the whole time and that I would have to pry her death grip off me so I could help the other children. That did not happen at all. When I arrived she saw me gave me a big hug and then went off with her other friends. She didn't sit with me on the bus or at the concert. She was having a great time with her friends. And you know what? That was awesome!

This daughter is my shy girl. I have worried that no one will play with her or she won't have friends, just because she is quiet and finds joy in her own company, which is great but can be lonely at times. Clearly my worrying has been somewhat in vain as I saw a beautiful and confident 6 almost 7 year old interacting with her peers.

I guess that is what parenting is all about. At home you do the ground work. You teach them (or try to) the rules for getting along with others; not being too pushy, but, not getting steam rolled either. There comes a point that you have to let them fly on their own and try out all the things you hope you taught them while in your sphere of influence. It is nerve racking, but when they see a calm exterior (the interior might be going crazy) your kids will know that you have confidence in them.

The key is setting your children up for success no matter what storms come. That doesn't mean that we make their life easy and remove all obstacles. What it does mean is that when a conflict or trial comes they know how to calm down instead of getting worked up, and then they can look at the problem and come up with a solution. It also means that if discouraging time comes upon them they have a safe and soft place to land, your arms.

Another insight that came to me while I was watching my daughter interacting with her friends was how important kindness is. I got to see her helping a friend find a lost mitten, letting someone into line, not pushing, and in general smiling and being friendly. Despite my daily failures as a parent there must be something good happening that allows her to be so kind.

Kindness is always important. It doesn't mean you don't stand up for yourself, instead it means not being aggressive or combative in getting your point across. It means smiling at people, and letting them know that they are special to you. There is no harm in letting others know that you are aware of them and that you are genuinely interested in them and that you are glad they are around you.

This world is full of so many choices. Not just clothing and hairstyles, but morals, lifestyles and the way we treat others. It is hard to figure out what is best for us. These little kids have to navigate a much more savvy and sophisticated world than I had to as a child. It is hard for kids just to be kids. To play and have fun and not think that they are being a nuisance or annoyance to parents and adults. Seeing my daughter on Tuesday, being a kid, a kind and fun-loving kid was priceless.