I know that most people would not be thankful for a power outage. Especially when it is is winter and outside is -33 with the wind chill. But Monday morning at around 10:30 the power went out for about 3 hours. That meant no internet, no phone (we only use our cordless phones, we do have a normal one but I had no idea where it was. I have since been informed that it is in the upstairs hall closet, top shelf, to the left, just in case you ever need to know) in general no distractions.
It was nice just hanging out with two of my kids, the third being at school. We played board games, we read stories, we had naps. It was great! No Winx Club for us that day! (If you don't already know what Winx Club is, you are probably better off for it.)
It also got me thinking about how blessed we are to live in this time. I don't have to heat up water over a wood stove. When I want hot water, I get it almost instantaneously out of my tap. When I want to bake something I do not have to load a stove with wood and keep checking to make sure it is maintaining the temperature needed. I can just push some buttons and bam! my oven is preheating to what I need it to be. We can have light by just flicking a switch, instead of making sure we are fully stocked with candles and lamps and wicks and oil.
I also feel blessed that I wasn't at a total loss of what to do when the power was off. I wasn't scurrying in a panic to get to some place that had a phone, or internet, or TV. It was just a relatively normal day. I was just wearing more layers as the temperature in the house started to drop a bit. I didn't feel the need to be socially connected with the entire world all the time. It is nice to turn inward every once in awhile. Have a check in with yourself. Disconnect and reconnect with those who are of most importance to you, face to face.
The power outage made me grateful for the emergency preparations I do have, and helped me make note of the emergency preparations I still need to make. What a huge blessing that is!
The simple life can be many things, but one thing it is for all is the ability to prioritize what is important and the ability to slow down and smell the roses or, in our case, make some paper ones as it is freezing outside.
Keep warm. I'll see you in February!
Thursday 30 January 2014
Thursday 23 January 2014
Success in Kindness
On Tuesday I went to see the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony with my daughter's class. I was like "Free tickets to the symphony? Sign me up!" I was expecting my daughter to be clinging to me the whole time and that I would have to pry her death grip off me so I could help the other children. That did not happen at all. When I arrived she saw me gave me a big hug and then went off with her other friends. She didn't sit with me on the bus or at the concert. She was having a great time with her friends. And you know what? That was awesome!
This daughter is my shy girl. I have worried that no one will play with her or she won't have friends, just because she is quiet and finds joy in her own company, which is great but can be lonely at times. Clearly my worrying has been somewhat in vain as I saw a beautiful and confident 6 almost 7 year old interacting with her peers.
I guess that is what parenting is all about. At home you do the ground work. You teach them (or try to) the rules for getting along with others; not being too pushy, but, not getting steam rolled either. There comes a point that you have to let them fly on their own and try out all the things you hope you taught them while in your sphere of influence. It is nerve racking, but when they see a calm exterior (the interior might be going crazy) your kids will know that you have confidence in them.
The key is setting your children up for success no matter what storms come. That doesn't mean that we make their life easy and remove all obstacles. What it does mean is that when a conflict or trial comes they know how to calm down instead of getting worked up, and then they can look at the problem and come up with a solution. It also means that if discouraging time comes upon them they have a safe and soft place to land, your arms.
Another insight that came to me while I was watching my daughter interacting with her friends was how important kindness is. I got to see her helping a friend find a lost mitten, letting someone into line, not pushing, and in general smiling and being friendly. Despite my daily failures as a parent there must be something good happening that allows her to be so kind.
Kindness is always important. It doesn't mean you don't stand up for yourself, instead it means not being aggressive or combative in getting your point across. It means smiling at people, and letting them know that they are special to you. There is no harm in letting others know that you are aware of them and that you are genuinely interested in them and that you are glad they are around you.
This world is full of so many choices. Not just clothing and hairstyles, but morals, lifestyles and the way we treat others. It is hard to figure out what is best for us. These little kids have to navigate a much more savvy and sophisticated world than I had to as a child. It is hard for kids just to be kids. To play and have fun and not think that they are being a nuisance or annoyance to parents and adults. Seeing my daughter on Tuesday, being a kid, a kind and fun-loving kid was priceless.
This daughter is my shy girl. I have worried that no one will play with her or she won't have friends, just because she is quiet and finds joy in her own company, which is great but can be lonely at times. Clearly my worrying has been somewhat in vain as I saw a beautiful and confident 6 almost 7 year old interacting with her peers.
I guess that is what parenting is all about. At home you do the ground work. You teach them (or try to) the rules for getting along with others; not being too pushy, but, not getting steam rolled either. There comes a point that you have to let them fly on their own and try out all the things you hope you taught them while in your sphere of influence. It is nerve racking, but when they see a calm exterior (the interior might be going crazy) your kids will know that you have confidence in them.
The key is setting your children up for success no matter what storms come. That doesn't mean that we make their life easy and remove all obstacles. What it does mean is that when a conflict or trial comes they know how to calm down instead of getting worked up, and then they can look at the problem and come up with a solution. It also means that if discouraging time comes upon them they have a safe and soft place to land, your arms.
Another insight that came to me while I was watching my daughter interacting with her friends was how important kindness is. I got to see her helping a friend find a lost mitten, letting someone into line, not pushing, and in general smiling and being friendly. Despite my daily failures as a parent there must be something good happening that allows her to be so kind.
Kindness is always important. It doesn't mean you don't stand up for yourself, instead it means not being aggressive or combative in getting your point across. It means smiling at people, and letting them know that they are special to you. There is no harm in letting others know that you are aware of them and that you are genuinely interested in them and that you are glad they are around you.
This world is full of so many choices. Not just clothing and hairstyles, but morals, lifestyles and the way we treat others. It is hard to figure out what is best for us. These little kids have to navigate a much more savvy and sophisticated world than I had to as a child. It is hard for kids just to be kids. To play and have fun and not think that they are being a nuisance or annoyance to parents and adults. Seeing my daughter on Tuesday, being a kid, a kind and fun-loving kid was priceless.
Thursday 16 January 2014
Being at Home is Boring!?!?
When my oldest was still a small baby I went to a mom and baby group. It was mostly a time for moms to get adult interaction and that is very necessary and okay. We were talking about being at home with our babies and one of the moms said, "being at home is boring". That struck me at the time. I wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't bored at home. Sure, my life wasn't full of James Bondish excitement, but I would never have said, "I'm bored". I then began thinking, is something wrong with me that I am not bored and others are? Is there something more I should be expecting out of life and am oblivious to? I didn't reply or say anything to that comment at the time, I was still young and a bit unsure of myself and my new role as mother.
Now, after almost seven years of reflection, I realize that there is nothing wrong with being happy and content at home. If I ever am part of a conversation like that again where someone claims their boredom of being at home this is what I could add to the discussion.
I love being able to be at home. Being able to stay at home with my children, though sometimes crazy, is the best thing in the world. I am able to set up my own schedule. I am able to wear what I want and even stay in my pyjamas past noon!
If I went to work (by work I mean a job that takes me out of the home), I would not have the ability to teach my children the morals and standards that are important to me on a daily basis. I would have to trust that those who were in care of my young ones were teaching them and looking after them the way that I would.
If I went to work, I would not have time to find out about my interests, discover new hobbies, and cook new meals. Staying at home sort of makes me an explorer. What new thing should I try today?
I know that being at home with a small baby is not all that it is cracked up to be. There are way too many dirty diapers, and runny noses, and costume changes. The to-do list never gets shorter and sometimes you may feel defeated because you are not be able to get done all the things you used to be able to do. That's okay. This is the time to step back, figure out and focus on what you feel is the most important and be at peace with that. This time is really not about you. It is a time for us to think about others and this new life you have been given charge of.
Now that two of my children are in school, I am still loving home. Yes, cleaning and tidying can get monotonous, but I am privileged to be able to hone my skills, have blogs that give me a creative outlet, think of ways that I can make my home a safe haven for my family and others within my sphere. I get to spend my day working to make my home one of love and kindness, one of industry, one of teaching. There are so many things that I can choose to do that I wouldn't be able to do if I was at work.
Of course there are some days I wish I could just go to an office and not deal with the demands that children can place on you. Sometimes I feel like am a zoo keeper in charge of the monkey cage. But those days are few and far between. Usually I just go with the flow and things seem to work out just fine, especially when Daddy gets home and the kids can now ask him their million questions.
Staying home is what you make of it. If you don't think of things to do or try, it would be boring. It is all how you frame this opportunity. To me I frame it as exploration and reflection. Thus, my home and my role as wife and mother can never be boring. There are so many things I can do!
Now, after almost seven years of reflection, I realize that there is nothing wrong with being happy and content at home. If I ever am part of a conversation like that again where someone claims their boredom of being at home this is what I could add to the discussion.
I love being able to be at home. Being able to stay at home with my children, though sometimes crazy, is the best thing in the world. I am able to set up my own schedule. I am able to wear what I want and even stay in my pyjamas past noon!
If I went to work (by work I mean a job that takes me out of the home), I would not have the ability to teach my children the morals and standards that are important to me on a daily basis. I would have to trust that those who were in care of my young ones were teaching them and looking after them the way that I would.
If I went to work, I would not have time to find out about my interests, discover new hobbies, and cook new meals. Staying at home sort of makes me an explorer. What new thing should I try today?
I know that being at home with a small baby is not all that it is cracked up to be. There are way too many dirty diapers, and runny noses, and costume changes. The to-do list never gets shorter and sometimes you may feel defeated because you are not be able to get done all the things you used to be able to do. That's okay. This is the time to step back, figure out and focus on what you feel is the most important and be at peace with that. This time is really not about you. It is a time for us to think about others and this new life you have been given charge of.
Now that two of my children are in school, I am still loving home. Yes, cleaning and tidying can get monotonous, but I am privileged to be able to hone my skills, have blogs that give me a creative outlet, think of ways that I can make my home a safe haven for my family and others within my sphere. I get to spend my day working to make my home one of love and kindness, one of industry, one of teaching. There are so many things that I can choose to do that I wouldn't be able to do if I was at work.
Of course there are some days I wish I could just go to an office and not deal with the demands that children can place on you. Sometimes I feel like am a zoo keeper in charge of the monkey cage. But those days are few and far between. Usually I just go with the flow and things seem to work out just fine, especially when Daddy gets home and the kids can now ask him their million questions.
Staying home is what you make of it. If you don't think of things to do or try, it would be boring. It is all how you frame this opportunity. To me I frame it as exploration and reflection. Thus, my home and my role as wife and mother can never be boring. There are so many things I can do!
Thursday 9 January 2014
Vinegar, you are awesome!
Over the holidays my normal chore routine did not happen. There were way more fun things to do then clean a bathtub or toilet bowl. This week I had my work cut out for me. As I was cleaning the bathroom it reminded me how awesome vinegar is. I use vinegar to clean just about everything. It is so amazing, things get so clean, and there are no harsh chemicals on my surfaces.
I know there are different recipes that others make when using vinegar as a cleaner but, I prefer to keep it simple. I get a spray bottle and do a 1:1 ratio of water and vinegar. Voila, done. I use this cleaner for my bathroom surfaces, I use it as my floor cleaner. I use it on my counters in the kitchen. I basically use it on anything. Even the mirrors.
For my toilet I pour in some vinegar. (I used to measure a cup, now I just pour until I think I have enough.) then I sprinkle in some baking soda. A minor eruption occurs as I scrub, but man does that toilet ever look sparkling.
I know that the initial smell can make your home smell like a pickling plant, but the smell soon dissipates and leaves your home surprisingly odor free. In fact a bowl full of vinegar set out is a great deodorizer.
Vinegar is acidic so you shouldn't use it on any marble surfaces or other types of material that reacts with acid. If in doubt test on a small area of the surface you want to clean, just to make sure there will be no adverse affects.
I like using vinegar because I know that there are no chemicals left on the surfaces that my kids are going to be touching. As well, I don't have to worry about them getting into my cleaners because it is just vinegar. If they drank that, well they wouldn't want to drink it again. I love the taste of vinegar, but not straight up.
Not only is using vinegar a great substitute for other dangerous household chemicals, it is good on the pocket book too. I can buy 4 litres for $1.99, sometimes even less. Once I dilute it I can have 8 litres of cleaning product, that cleans everything, for $1.99. That is awesome.
I am always pleasantly amazed when I find a new use for vinegar. It is definitely an all-rounder, something that can be used for anything. From fries, to toilets. Amazing. How do you use vinegar? Are their any other green cleaners that you have in your cleaning arsenal?
I know there are different recipes that others make when using vinegar as a cleaner but, I prefer to keep it simple. I get a spray bottle and do a 1:1 ratio of water and vinegar. Voila, done. I use this cleaner for my bathroom surfaces, I use it as my floor cleaner. I use it on my counters in the kitchen. I basically use it on anything. Even the mirrors.
For my toilet I pour in some vinegar. (I used to measure a cup, now I just pour until I think I have enough.) then I sprinkle in some baking soda. A minor eruption occurs as I scrub, but man does that toilet ever look sparkling.
I know that the initial smell can make your home smell like a pickling plant, but the smell soon dissipates and leaves your home surprisingly odor free. In fact a bowl full of vinegar set out is a great deodorizer.
Vinegar is acidic so you shouldn't use it on any marble surfaces or other types of material that reacts with acid. If in doubt test on a small area of the surface you want to clean, just to make sure there will be no adverse affects.
I like using vinegar because I know that there are no chemicals left on the surfaces that my kids are going to be touching. As well, I don't have to worry about them getting into my cleaners because it is just vinegar. If they drank that, well they wouldn't want to drink it again. I love the taste of vinegar, but not straight up.
Not only is using vinegar a great substitute for other dangerous household chemicals, it is good on the pocket book too. I can buy 4 litres for $1.99, sometimes even less. Once I dilute it I can have 8 litres of cleaning product, that cleans everything, for $1.99. That is awesome.
I am always pleasantly amazed when I find a new use for vinegar. It is definitely an all-rounder, something that can be used for anything. From fries, to toilets. Amazing. How do you use vinegar? Are their any other green cleaners that you have in your cleaning arsenal?
Thursday 2 January 2014
The Importance of Household Tasks for Children
I recently finished a book called Cleaning House: A mom's 12-month experiment to rid her home of youth entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma. (To read my review of it click here.) It really made me think about how I am parenting. Am I enabling my children to have a me centred life, where they think others are there to serve them and that the world revolves around them? Am I giving them responsibilities which teaches them the life skills they need when they eventually leave home?
There are so many stories in the news or news magazines that talk about adults in their twenties having their parents talk to university profs about assignments, or quitting jobs because the work is not interesting and they don't want to do it. I guess they assume if they fall on hard times their parents will be there to pick them up and take care of them. It is really interesting. I guess they don't feel the need to take care of themselves by themselves. (I know that not all people in their twenties are like that, but there have been more stories like that of late in the news.)
One thing the book talked about was the high levels of depression of people in their early to mid twenties. Even in teens the level of depression is going up. The author suggests that some of this is due to them not feeling needed. They feel that there is nothing unique that they are contributing and it wouldn't make a difference if they were not there. It shows how important it is that we make sure our children know they contribute to the family and that their contribution truly matters.
I am now inspired to make sure my children have tasks that only they do and that I equip them with important skills. My oldest is six. I am not wanting to pile on the tasks. She still needs to be a kid. But, I need to be giving her and my four-year-old tasks that they are responsible for. That way when they are older they will put on new responsibilities without too much resistance... hopefully. But to do this I need to have follow-through which, is not really my forte. But I know I need to do it, for their sake. Thus, I must get follow-through and lots of patience.
I think the patience will be the hardest part. I can wash lettuce faster, wipe the table more thoroughly and fold clothes more neatly. But, if I do it myself how are they going to develop the skill?
So I have come up with a few tasks that I am going to have the older two do. (My youngest is 10 months. Her task is to be the cutest baby ever! She is already a pro.)
There are so many stories in the news or news magazines that talk about adults in their twenties having their parents talk to university profs about assignments, or quitting jobs because the work is not interesting and they don't want to do it. I guess they assume if they fall on hard times their parents will be there to pick them up and take care of them. It is really interesting. I guess they don't feel the need to take care of themselves by themselves. (I know that not all people in their twenties are like that, but there have been more stories like that of late in the news.)
One thing the book talked about was the high levels of depression of people in their early to mid twenties. Even in teens the level of depression is going up. The author suggests that some of this is due to them not feeling needed. They feel that there is nothing unique that they are contributing and it wouldn't make a difference if they were not there. It shows how important it is that we make sure our children know they contribute to the family and that their contribution truly matters.
I am now inspired to make sure my children have tasks that only they do and that I equip them with important skills. My oldest is six. I am not wanting to pile on the tasks. She still needs to be a kid. But, I need to be giving her and my four-year-old tasks that they are responsible for. That way when they are older they will put on new responsibilities without too much resistance... hopefully. But to do this I need to have follow-through which, is not really my forte. But I know I need to do it, for their sake. Thus, I must get follow-through and lots of patience.
I think the patience will be the hardest part. I can wash lettuce faster, wipe the table more thoroughly and fold clothes more neatly. But, if I do it myself how are they going to develop the skill?
So I have come up with a few tasks that I am going to have the older two do. (My youngest is 10 months. Her task is to be the cutest baby ever! She is already a pro.)
- Empty lunch bags when they come home from school.
- Help sort laundry and put away their own clothes
- Help prepare one meal a week. I am thinking they can help with the Saturday meal, swapping turns back and forth.
Once these are established I will add more. You have to start somewhere. You can't do too much too fast. Especially with my follow-through skills.
Some people set up reward systems to help with chores. I don't know how I feel about that. Sometimes in life you have to do something even when there is no gold star waiting for you. So, I don't think I want to go down that route.
The author of the book had a jar for each child with a dollar for each day of the month in it. If the chores were not done each day she would take out a dollar. Whatever was left at the end of the month was their's. I like that a bit better. It is still a type of reward, but I feel that they are earning it and that there is a consequence if their task is not done. With a sticker system, if the task is not done, they just don't get a sticker. They are not really losing anything.
Ugh! There are so many ideas and parenting styles. There is no set ways, just what you think is best. And I don't always know what is best. I wish that each child came with an owner's manual. Then we would know what would to do with each child.
How do you give kids responsibilities? How do you teach them? Do you use rewards or not?
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