Birthday Blitz

It is that time of year when we have birthday fever in our house. Within 9 days we have my husbands birthday, Miss P.'s birthday and then my birthday. That's a lot of cake! (In April we have a mini blitz with 2 birthdays in 4 days). I'm not sure how we got our birthdays piled together. My husbands and mine we couldn't help, but we must did some serious awesome planning fitting Miss P. in there!

Usually I try to make sure that everyone has an awesome day on their birthday. While I try to make sure they always feel loved and special everyday (somedays I am better at that then others), I try to make sure their birthday is even more special and full of love and that it centers just around them. This year, I haven't been feeling it as much. I think it is because I am tired and I'm focusing so much on my fitness goals that the time just escapes. Time management is definitely something I need to improve on.

It's also hard because their idea of the perfect birthday does not reflect mine. Since I am currently the mother of an almost 2 year old all I wish for is time by myself with no on touching me, or asking for food, or watching me go pee or stealing the ipad. My perfect day would be for me just to be quietly by myself doing whatever I wanted to do without interruptions or questions or food preparation (at least food preparation for others). Ah... I can feel the silence now, and it is wonderful. I am sure when my kids are older and I am at a different season of my life I will want loved ones around more or at least have them call me. But I'm not there yet.

For my husband's birthday he just got a nice meal and a cake... I did remember to give him a card, but that's about it. Shameful I know. But it's hard when he has to work and I didn't have the car. Miss V. was drawing him a card but told him he would have to wait for the next day to get it as there were too many candles for her to colour! I guess 33 is a lot of candles. But I think he still felt loved and appreciated. I hope he did anyways.

Miss P.s day is coming up next. Since the world basically revolves around her anyways I'm not sure what to do. I will definitely make some sort of cake. Though, she usually only eats the icing, so it might be more icing then cake for her. Gift wise, I think I will just wrap her up some "next size up" clothes. At that age it doesn't matter what the present is, it is just fun unwrapping things. So with that in mind, perhaps I will wrap up her pyjamas for that night! That should be fun.

Miss P. living life in the Dreamhouse!

By the time its my birthday, I am done with cakes and hoopla. The novelty of the birthday blitz has worn off. But maybe I will be able to kick up my heels and have a few moments of blissful stillness. Here's hoping.

So a Happy Birthday to everyone... Have a great week!

Good Old Fashioned Winter Fun!

I apologize for the delay in this post. I had an idea, and I was getting the camera ready to take some pictures and then, the battery died. (Note to self, always check battery life ahead of time.) The older two were home as well, meaning my day was thrown off a bit. But that's life right and life is great!

The kids were home on Friday because the weather was so cold they closed all the schools. While I'm sure there are places in the territories that get much colder than what we experienced, and they probably don't close their schools, I was happy for the reprieve. We got to have a lazy morning. I didn't have to make lunches or bundle up an crabby Miss P. in her snow clothes. Really it was a win all around.

Luckily the weekend had much warmer temperatures and we were able to enjoy the outside.

from lds.org media files

We went to a church skating party that was held at a mennonite school just outside the city. It was so nice. The rink was big enough to so that those who wanted to play some hockey could do it at one end and those who wanted just to skate normally could do it at the other. There were also the coolest play structures for the kids. It was made with wood and metal and would totally not be allowed at a regular school, which really is a shame.

They had this awesome hill in the back with a slide going down it. The kids loved sliding down it into a big pile of fresh snow. There were teeter-toters made out of big planks of wood. And fun swings. The kids had a blast skating, sliding and playing.

We live in a world of rules and regulations. We do this all in the name of keeping kids/people safe. Safety is very important, but at the same time it can be over kill. There have been reports of some cities banning tobogganing. To me that is crazy. Tobogganing is the best thing to do in winter. As with anything, it comes with an element of risk, but it is up to parents to monitor their kids and to teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Because of the lapse in judgement of a few, many are affected.

We need to let our kids play. And not just in the safe confines of our homemade bubbles. We need to allow them to have some elements of risk, that allow them to figure things out and learn to see hazards themselves. We need to arm them with skills and confidence so that they can keep themselves safe when we are not around, 'cause we won't always be. We need to let our kids have fun.

I think, sometimes as adults we forget to let our hair down and just have some good old fashioned fun. We spend a lot of our life wanting to grow up. When we do, we gain a lot of responsibilities. Sometimes those responsibilities overshadow everything and make it hard to relax and have fun. But we need to. For our sakes and for our kids'. Life doesn't have to be serious all the time. And our kids need us to play with them. So go tobogganing, go skating, have a snow fight, make a snow fort. If nothing else, you will be getting exercise, and your kids will be having a blast.

If outdoor winter activities aren't your thing, play hide and seek inside, or sardines. Play boards games. Play things, that don't involve a screen so you can really connect. Enjoy some good old fashioned fun!

The Importance of Dating Your Spouse

This morning Miss G. came running into our room at 6:47 yelling, "Today's Friday!!! Valentine's Party, Oh Ya!!!!!!!!" She spent quite a while picking out her most perfect Valentine's party ensemble. When I told the kids it was time to put their outdoor stuff on for school, she ran down the stairs, saying "yahoo, party time!!!" She then got dressed so quickly it was amazing. Usually she is the one that I am urging to put on her snow pants, reminding her of the necessity for mitts, and telling that it is not time to play or bug others, just get your dang stuff on! There was no need for that because today is Valentine's Party day and that means today is going to be awesome.

Now I'm not sure where she got all this excitement from. We in this house don't make much hoopla over Valentine's day. I am of the opinion that you should be showing love and making romantic gestures all the time. I will say that it might help with the February blahs to make an effort to do something lovely for those you love. But, Valentine's day, in this house at least, is not full of roses, and stuffies, and other things that will just add to junk. Perhaps Miss. G's enthusiasm was more for the party then it was for actual Valentine's day. Who knows.

Lately I have been thinking about the need for dates, especially when you are married and busy raising a family. It is important to have times with your spouse or partner where you reconnect. Find out about the actual person and not just their familial role.

image from lds media files

When Matt and I were married for about three years a wise man gave us some very sage advise. He told us that we should make dates a priority, and intimated that it was important for Matt in particular to make it happen. (Matt might remember it differently, but we will go with my memory for now.)

We did not always heed his advice, but over the years I wanted more and more for Matt to make an effort and take me on a date. I was beginning to understand just how vital those times alone together could be and I was yearning for it.

Now, some might say, "why Meredith, if you want to go on a date you should just organize the whole thing. Then you would get the date you want and everything would be great". And, yes! It is important that both people in the relationship take the initiative to plan something or suggest something nice to do together. But, and there is always a but, at the time, and still now, I needed to feel that I was indeed special to Matt. If I planned everything, where we went, getting the babysitter and all of that, I would not be feeling special. I would be doing all the work, and making sure that Matt felt special, and sometimes, we need to know that we are special to the other person.

Dates are a time in your relationship when you can demonstrate that you pay attention to the other person, and plan an activity that you know your spouse will appreciate. It shows that you think the other person is special enough that you take time out of your schedule to think about and plan something that both of you can enjoy together. To me, knowing that Matt has actually thought about what might make me happy and then making it happen is really sexy.

Life today can get so busy that our thoughts can get clogged with the mundane: our chore lists, our kids homework, what's for dinner etc. Often times we might go through the whole day and not think, what can I do today that will make the love of my life feel valued and special? We should think that and do something, but it is so easy for that to get over shadowed, and for us to take our spouse or partner for granted. Planning a date and having a regular date night, will help to make those thoughts be more at the forefront.

Dates don't have to be outside the home. Sometimes it is impossible to get a babysitter, or funds are tight and going to a restaurant or mini-golfing is just not a choice. But there are lots of fun activities that you can do at home. The key is, you make the time count, and make it special, or different from all the other nights at home.

Do something more than just a movie night

I love watching movies, they are funny and entertaining, but they might not be the best for your at home date night. Why??? Because it is the actors who are talking and not you. You need to talk, communicate and know each other. If you think about the conversations you and your spouse have they usually revolve around the kids, the house, and that's about it. This is a chance for you to tell each other about you. What are your dreams, do have goals that you are working on, where do you see yourselves in 5 years, has your favourite colour changed, etc. You are not the same person you were when you were first married, neither is your spouse. Life is all about growing and evolving. Make sure that they are a part of your journey. You need to talk.

Choose an activity that won't make either of your frustrated

Board games are fun. They are entertaining and can stimulate some interesting conversation. But if both of you are always super competitive, perhaps it is not the best choice. My husband and I like to play Ticket to Ride. And while both of us like to win, that is a game that we are able to set the competitiveness aside and just have fun building our trains. Playing that game with him is not stressful and I'm not feeling anxious. So, find an activity like that. It could be a fun video game, (we like Wii Party), or anything that allows both of you to have fun, and will not shut down the conversation and make you loathe the other person.

Make an effort

This is still your date night. If it is your turn to plan, then plan. Don't leave it to the last minute. Decide what you want to do and then set it up. You could create a snack that looks as appetizing as it tastes (fruit cut into shapes). You could decorate the table so it looks nice. You could get your spouses favourite kind of herbal tea. You could both dress up a bit more fancy. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It truly is the thought put into it that counts.

Try to talk of things other than the kids

Kids do take up a lot of your time and energy and thoughts. We love them, we want to do the best for them and when they are young, especially, we have to care over them all the time. It can be hard to switch off from parent mode. There are some legitimate things that you need to discuss with your spouse about your kids. Just try not to do it on date night. This is the time for you and your spouse. It is time for you to connect. And sometimes, since you talk about the kids most of the time anyway, it is hard to think of any other subjects. So, before you have your date (and this can be at home or out of the house) write down some conversation topics or open ended questions. I know it might seem sort of dorky, because the conversation should just be flowing, but guess what, the conversation doesn't always flow and you might as well have some back up.

If you need ideas you can go online and find lots. A blog that I read just had a post with interesting at home date ideas. Check it out here. 

Here are some more links with at home date night ideas. So choose something and start dating! Remember it doesn't need to be stressful or perfect. You just have to do it. It might feel weird at first if you haven't dated with your spouse in a while, but you'll get it. It will be well worth the time and effort.

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32 Stay At Home Date Night Ideas plus links to over 300 more

Thrifty Stay At Home Date Ideas

Some thoughts on Full Day Kindergarten

I love the movie You've Got Mail. There are so many observations or, as Nora Ephron (writer and director of the movie) put it, mini-essays, about life in the movie. It is fantastic. One of the mini-essays that I relate to is when they were discussing the ability to zing people. Tom Hanks character is very good at zinging while Meg Ryan's mind goes blank.

While I myself don't have a problem coming up with zingers, what I do have a hard time is coming up with an articulate way of expressing my opinion when it goes against others. For example, on facebook people are always putting up articles about potentially contraversial topics. Most people are in one camp, and while I may agree partially, there are things I feel they miss, yet if I tried to put it in a comment it wouldn't work, so I end up not putting anything and feeling rather miffed the whole time. Does that ever happen? It is not until days later, when the topic or post is already old news that I have formed some sort of response. So I share it with my husband, Poor guy, having to put up with all my musings, but it's his job. I need the response to be out there in the cosmos.

Well, this happened to me this week. I decided to share my response on the blog. Please bear with me.

The topic was on the supposed waste of money on full day kindergarten in Ontario. Everyone (on the facebook post) was on board with it being a waste as studies show it doesn't help the children later academically. If we are looking at the issue from a pure academic stand point, then yes, it is a waste of money. But the thing with this issue is that you have to look at it from a broader angle, not just an academic slant.

We are living in a society that is making it harder and harder for families to get by on one income. While some of us are willing and able to make the sacrifices and lifestyle changes necessary to stick to one income, it is still hard. Parents are then left to scramble to find responsible childcare at a reasonable price. That is not always easy. Governments promise universal childcare but that is a reality that is not going to happen anytime soon. What they can do though is create all day everyday (aka Full Day) kindergarten. Is it the best solution, perhaps not, but it one less monetary constrant on the economics of working parents. As well, for those children who comes from a lower socioeconomic reality, there are benefits to this solution.

One of the commenters said that the best indication of how well a child will do academically was whether that child stayedwith a parent/primary caregiver until age 6. While that would be great in ideal world, the world is not ideal. Of course we would like it if our children could have more one on one attention whether with us, as their parent, or a nanny or a constant care provider, but that can be hard to have happen too. While most of those who were commenting were stay at home with their children and come from that slant already, it really doesn't give the whole picture of the situation. It is easy for us to comment on things when we are in the comfort of our own home and are able to provide that stability of care to our children, but not all are so lucky.

We live in a socialized government system. We are giving of our taxes to help as a whole. If you are not in need of that help yourself, great! Others may need that help and it is great for those services to be there. You never know when you may need to access them. I am definitely more centre/left in my thinking. I like to see things as a whole society not just me. While I'm still not sure if I will send Miss P. to Full Day Junior kindergarten, it's nice to know that others who aren't as blessed as I am and need help with safe and affordable childcare, can get it for their 4 year olds. Miss V. went to Full Day kindergarten when she was 4 and she flourished and really came out of her shell a bit more. The next year we moved and switched to a school that hadn't gotten the Full Day program yet, so she went every other day. Once again that was perfect and I was happy to have her home to be with Miss G. more. Miss G. started junior kindergarten every other day and this year, in senior kindergarten, she goes everyday. She has had so much fun and it has been a great experience for her. The teachers are fun, they are still learning things, and she is able to experience things that I might not be able to offer. I'm exhausted and just not organized enough to pull something like that off. I might be someday but I'm not now so I am so grateful that she is able to do all that fun stuff with her friends.

Should school be looked at as merely child care, of course not. But, in a way it is. We are trusting the teachers and other education workers to help our children become who they are going to be. Education is not purely academic anymore. Education is about society, it about helping those who need a little extra help and making sure all children are given opportunities to be their best selves, both academically and socially. So to me, money spent on that, whatever the academic results, is not a waste. If this is a waste then I should think that all money spent on allergy testing is a waste since I don't need it and personally wouldn't benefit from it. (Just to be clear, I do not actually think that... it was just the first example to come into my head.) All government spending could be seen as wasteful, and believe me there is a lot of waste in the system, but sometimes we need to look at the societal good and not just what's in it for me.

I truly do live a blessed life, and I don't want to ever take that for granted. I think that when things are going well or easily for us it is easy for us to look down on others or their situation. We need to always be grateful for what is going good in our life and do what we can to help others who may need some help.

Thank you for putting up with this long winded opinion peace. This topic can be very touchy, as all topics seem to be lately. I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there into the cosmos.