Days Five to Eight of the 12 Days of Decluttering Challenge

Well, the weekend was busy and it was hard to get in everything, but I made it. How about you?

On day five of the challenge I decluttered the mudroom chest of drawers. This is a catchall for crap things that are in your hands when you get in the door and you want to put down somewhere. It drives me insane! Is it too much to ask for a nice welcoming entrance when I get in from wrestling with a Miss P. while I am picking up the other two from school. I just want my house to look pretty! Okay, enough moaning.

before

The end result looks great. Now I just need to maintain it and makes sure the rest of the family doesn't keep using it as their personal dumping ground. I am looking forward to next year when I might actually be able to decorate the top of the chest with some cool kind of Christmasy vignette.

after

On day six, I dusted the tops of the cabinets in the main bathroom. I know this isn't nescessarily decluttering, but man were they ever dusty. I am pretty good at keeping what I see dust free but if it is out of my range of sight, well, the dust just doesn't enter into my consciousness. So, while it was not decluttering of stuff, I was definitely decluttering the air of my house, one dust mite at a time.

On days seven and eight I did something I have been wanting to do for months, and just never did. I finally dealt with the totes full of clothes that the girls have outgrown. Now, I want to be a thrifty person. While we live comfortably and have our needs met, we aren't rolling in the dough. I have been really good about keeping girls old clothes and using hand-me-downs from friends and all that stuff. But I was starting to feel overwhelmed with clothes. With Miss V. being 7 and Miss P still 1 there are a lot of different sizes that are floating around our home. As well, Miss G. doesn't always want to wear what Miss V. did because Miss G. has a very particular aesthetic she goes for, while Miss V. is happy in anything. I could go on and on about the headache that is the hand-me-down story in my house.

I think the biggest thing right now is Miss P. has a very different body type than the other girls. While none of my kids have been what you would call chunky, Miss P. is a rail. She is skinny but lengthy. If pants don't have the adjustable waistbands or aren't the leggings, the waist is either too big or the inseam too short. So, I am having to buy her new stuff anyways, so why keep the old stuff.

So day seven was moving all the totes out of Miss P.'s room (that was where they were stored) clearing the horizontal floor space of her room, and man what a difference. Day eight was all about the going through the clothes. I threw out all the clothes that were so horribly stained that it is a wonder I actually kept them. All the nicer clothes that didn't look super worn I put in a box that I am going to take to the consignment shop tomorrow and the rest I put into bags to go to the thrift store. I did keep some clothes, like the next size up of shirts for Miss P. and a few sleepers and things that we would want to use if we had a baby number four. But, I went from 5 totes down to 1 and I think that it pretty amazing. Man, does it ever feel good to have that done!

If you are doing the challenge we are in the home stretch. If you haven't started, it's not too late. This is something you can do anytime. I might do it in the New Year.

Days Three and Four of the 12 Days of Decluttering Challenge

Well yesterday and today were clean out the cupboard day. I even remembered to take a before picture!

On day three it was the day for organizing the baking cupboard. This is a good thing to do seasonally. It's good to get rid of things that are expired, move around things so the most used items are the easiest to get and to take stock of what you need more of. I need to get more cornmeal.

before

This cupboard was simply a disaster. Things were shuffled around, condiments for toast were infront of my flour container. This made it awful when I had to bake. For months I was saying, "I really need to do something about this cupboard". But, other things always get in the way or seem more of a priority. Thanks goodness for this challenge.

Now things are easy to reach. The things I use most often are easy to access. Some of the other things I use less often I have tucked in behind. But most things, whether I use them often or not, don't have anything in front of them. So that is nice.

after

I also went through the bin.This is where I store my odds and ends with baking stuff, such as, food colouring, cupcake papers, small spice containers, sprinkles and birthday candles. I have gotten rid of all the short candles, cleaned up some leaking food colouring bottles, and in general made it nice.

On day four I cleaned out another cupboard. I didn't take a picture of this one. This is the cupboard that houses all our hot drink mixes, so herbal tea bags, hot chocolate and caf-lib. It also houses our ice cream condiments, vitamins, and then extra milk jugs, ice cube trays and popsicle moulds.

Man it was crazy. It looked so jambled and basically we would just cram the stuff in and close the door as quickly as possible. Now I have things easy to reach for the kids. I have tucked the things we don't  use often in the back and in general made it just look nice.

My husband asked if since my cupboards each have three shelves if that counts as three days worth. For some the answer is yes. For me it was no as I was easily able to get through them in one day. Though, I will count it as me being awesome for doing three times the amount of horizontal surafaces ;-) I can't wait until tomorrow's challenge!

Day One and Two of the 12 Days of Decluttering Challenge

Well here I am with the first two days of the challenge under my belt. And I actually am doing it. Yay!!! The horizontal surfaces I have decluttered are definitely not earth shattering. You might even think they are lame, and that's okay. The whole point of this is to just get us started doing something. Perhaps I will come up with a more meaty task for tomorrow. I forgot to take before pictures. So, you will just have to enjoy the afters.

On day one I decluttered the top of my microwave. It seemed to be a catch all for papers and random bits of kitcheny stuff. What I really want it to be is a place to store my bread knife, so little hands don't get it and where to put our bread, so the bread is not on the counters. This wasn't able to happen before but it is now.

On day two I decluttered the top of my piano. That too was a catch all for mail, things that should be filed, kids toys, coins... You name it and it was probably there. It is just such a convenient place to put things because it is up high so Miss P won't get at things and you can kind of forget about it. Well no more I say! Now I will be able to put a nice Christmas arrangement there without it looking horrible. Yea!!

Have you been doing the challenge? What have you decluttered so far?

12 Days of Decluttering 2014

For the past few years stores in Canada have been taking their cue from the stores in the United States and have been holding Black Friday sales. To me it seems a bit ridiculous, but then that's me. I just don't get why we have to copy things that are done in the U.S. especially since it isn't even a holiday weekend for us in Canada.

Right now, I am trying to limit the things that come into my house, so a sale on things, which is really trying to entice me to spend more and buy more things I don't need, and is merely a good deal, really doesn't thrill me. I guess I could be seen as being the antithesis of Black Friday, and that is o.k. with me.

As I have been thinking of the coming of the Christmas season and all that comes with it I have been thinking of my current junk and my lack of enthusiasm for doing anything with it. With Miss P. still not sleeping through the night I am tired. November is a blah month, where it isn't quite fall but winter hasn't quite set in yet. I find it the month of annoying transition, and I don't feel like doing much. But, Miss V. and Miss G. really want to get the Christmas stuff out and start the whole Christmas season.

Now I like Christmas as much as the next person. I love the music, the decorations, the baking and the lights. What I don't like is when my junk intrudes on the decorations and there is a mix of greenery and junk. It looks so horrible and detracts from the whole spirit of the season.

So with that in mind I have decided to launch the 12 Days of Decluttering and I am hoping you will join me.

What is the 12 Days of Decluttering? Well I'm glad you asked. This is something that shouldn't take a lot of time and add to the stress of the season. It should help you in the celebration of it. Every day for the first 12 days of December you will clean off one shelf, or organize one cupboard, or deal with stuff on one horizontal surface.

I am not asking you do clean out an entire bookshelf or your entire pantry. Just one small shelf. You can do that. This way your pantries will be ready for the baking, your horizontal surfaces will be ready for decorations, and hopefully you will have give away bags to take to your local thrift shop.

I will do my best to document my 12 Days of Decluttering. If you decide to join you can grab the button or leave a comment below. Let me know how you are doing with it. Share pictures of your success. Hopefully this will help all of us get out of this decluttering funk and help us be able to relax more during our Christmas time.

So you have the weekend to come up with your plan and then we start Monday December 1st. Have a great weekend!

Meet My Family

I have been blogging now for a little over a year. It has been a great opportunity to reflect on what is important to me and what ideas I want to put out there in the blogosphere. It is also nerve racking. I would classify myself as somewhat of an introvert. I am a fairly private person. So, to put my personal thoughts out there can be exciting but also terrifying. Who knows what other people might think or say. But so far it has been great and I am loving doing it. Now that my youngest is a bona fide toddler it means time for reflection and actually writing down those musing is hard to come by. That might be why there are a few missed weeks, and also why I have now started posting on Fridays. So please bear with me.

And speaking of my youngest, that brings me to another point and really the point of this blog post. I have always referred to my kids as, my oldest, my middle and my youngest. That can be a bit confusing and weird. So today I will introduce you to my kids and the pseudonyms I am going to use for them from now until they are older.

Pseudonyms you might say. Why yes. I don't want to put their actual names on here. It is not because I want to be deceptive or nontransparent. It is more for their protection. Most people in the world are wonderful and friendly and everything you would want in a human being. Then we have the creepizoids. The people who do ridiculously horrendous things. While I am sure most people who read this blog are of the former category, since this is a public blog the creepizoids could get here too. So that is why I alter the pictures of my kids with sunglasses, and why I am not going to use their real name. I think that the sunglasses add a bit of fun instead of just using the regular black bar rectangle.

The reasons for doing this has hit home today. While I was listening to the news this morning I learned about a girl at a local school was almost abducted by a woman on Wednesday. The woman approached this girl, called her by name and said that the girls mother asked this woman to pick the girl up. Since the girl did not recognize the woman she did not go with her and a crisis was luckily averted.

I am not saying that if you put pictures of your kids up without altering them you are a horrible person or inviting misfortune. We all have to be comfortable with what we put up online and on our social media. For me I am more comfortable doing it this way, protecting my kids privacy, until they are old enough to decide if they want to be known in this way or not. You have to do what feels right to you. Also, it helps me maintain some of my own private world.

The names I have chosen are not the most inventive. Some people come up with clever nicknames that do with the child's interests. This however wouldn't be good for me right now as I would have to call my youngest destructor as she loves to destroy everything in sight. Or possibly the messanator. I am hoping these hobbies will be changing soon and would hate to pigeon hole her into that role forever.

So, here is my family.

This is Miss V. Currently she is seven years old. She loves to help her younger sisters, read stories and be lovely.

This is Miss G. Currently she is five years old. She loves anything to do with fashion, she loves to help in the kitchen, and she loves to play in the snow.

This is Miss P. Currently she is one and a half. She loves being a goof, sneaking into her sisters' room (much to the sisters' dismay) and singing "Let it Go".

This is my husband Matt. I don't bother altering his picture or name. I figure he can take the publicity. He is the master of selfies, the master of goofiness and in general one heck of a nerf-herder.And I love him anyways.

So now you know more about the characters that are at play in my life and in the blog. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and I will see you next week.

A Way to Manage Your To-Do List

So we are finally at the original post I wanted to write about. To-do lists. But, what is funny is that when I was starting to edit my original musings and tried to get this post ready my to-do list exploded! I had a billion things that needed to get done. Hence the delay in posting. Oh, the irony of life. Well, let's get on with it.

Anyone who has any kind of responsibility has one of these. The dreaded, or the liberating, depending on your out look, to-do list. It doesn't matter where your responsibility lies, whether it is in a workplace environment or a home environment, to-do lists are part of life.

As a person, where the workplace is my home, I find the to-do list essential, yet daunting. When you work outside the home, you have a specific task which you are hired to do. At home you are the one who sets your tasks and sets your timetable. While this is liberating as you are able to do what you want when you want, it can be hard to do.

As stated in an earlier post, I really struggle with not having a defined set role. If I was just a cleaning lady, it would be much easier to get on with the cleaning. If I was purely a nurturer, then I would get on with nurturing the children. But because I am both, and more things besides, I feel guilty when I don't get all the cleaning done, or when I am not being the best mother, or when I let other things fall through the cracks.

There are so many things that I could do at home. Some of them are fun, such as, reading, playing games, going for walks, watching youTube and cleaning the bathroom. Some of them not as fun, such as, cleaning out the garage, dusting, scrubbing the tub and finding library books. And then there are other things that fall in between. Housework is never done. The mess is always there. It can be hard to be motivated.

Making a to-do list forces you to prioritize what you would like to do that day. If you need a day of leisure, your to-do list may comprise such things as a bubble bath, reading time and working on a craft. If you need a day to be industrious it may comprise such things as, cleaning the toy room, doing laundry and organizing the pantry. This helps you know what to focus on next and helps you make the best use of your available time.

Now I know that the list is never done there is always something you can do next. But you also don't want to get overloaded and burnt out. You need some guilt free time for you and your interests and goals. So this is how I manage my list.

Make your list the night before, if possible
When the kids are in bed and you have had a few moments to just breathe, you are in a better frame of mind to know what is essential to get done the next day. Things that didn't get done that day may not be as important as something else. You will be able to reflect on the day and figure out what the next day will be like. You also will wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose, instead of wondering what they heck you should do. It is always nice when you have a plan of attack then flying by the seat of your pants.

Only put 5 items on your list
I know you could probably put 100 items on the list, but don't. You can always add more when your list gets cleared. But, for now just think of your top 5. If your list is too long and you only accomplish 3 things, how are you going to feel? My guess, you will feel like a total failure, and that is not good. Seeing too many items on my list, makes it hard for me to stay motivated. It makes me feel guilty if I take a 5 minute break. It makes me stressed, when I do my mom stuff, and don't get the other items on the list done. I know a happy child is more important than a clean floor, but if I have a long list and I am playing with my little one I am not as present as I should be because I am worrying about the list.

So to keep myself to 5 items this is what I do. I do not use paper to write my list. If I get a piece of paper, unless it is really small,  it is big enough to write more things down, and that is a temptation I could fall into. Also, with paper, my little one will walk off with it, or I will write other things on it making it a jumbled mess. Paper is just no good.

My solution, a small chalkboard. At Staples they have the Martha Stewart line of Avery products.  They had a chalkboard sticker that fit on my pantry door perfectly. It is also just the right size for me to write five items down. I think it looks super cute and it is super functional.

When I complete a chore or item on the list I erase it off. If my list is done, or pretty empty and I still have plenty of energy and day left, then I can add on more items. It can act like a revolving door of sorts.

Have a mix of items
An important thing in my life right now is getting in shape. That means I need to have time for my workout. I put exercise on my to-do list everyday. While that may seem redundant and exercise should just be part of my life, I know that if it is not on the list other things will get in the way and I will be putting on my pyjamas and realize I didn't exercise. Having it on my to-do list ensures I will make time for my workout.

To-do lists do not have to be all about work. It is about finding a balance of work and fun. To-do lists for me help me not waste time during the day doing nothing. Believe me, if doing nothing all day was a talent then I would be an all-star. But then, I would feel frustrated because nothing would get done. And, the only one I could truly be frustrated at is myself.

So put on some of the housekeeping items, but also put on things you enjoy to do. This gives you the permission to do those activities without feeling guilty.

Be flexible
Things come up in life that are unexpected. If you had something on your list that you find just isn't going to work out that day, change it. Nothing is set in stone. If you think you can only get three things done, because one of the items will be more time consuming, that's fine. Just have the three things on your list.

It is also okay to have items that are on your list everyday. As stated above I have exercise on there everyday. Others may have sweeping or reading or laundry.

The to-do list is not there to make us feel guilty or stressed. It is supposed to be a tool we can use to help streamline our days and to help us prioritize what is the important focus for the day. I find that the to-do list helps me keep focus, helps me to stay motivated, and helps me feel accomplished. Nothing feels better then when you erase your last item on your list. It is great!

Do you use to-do lists? What helps you use them effectively? If you don't use to-do lists is there another system that helps you stay on track and not wander aimlessly through your day?

What Do We Want from Life?

Life is so full of choice. There are so many lifestyles and options available to us that it is rather overwhelming. With each choice there are consequences or sacrifices with each one. There is no perfect fit for everyone. If we choose to work outside our home, we are loosing family time and time to discover our own talents. If we choose to work in the home we are loosing money making abilities and sometimes it is hard to focus on ourselves. If we send our kids to school we missing seeing the look of discovery on their face and precious moments with them. If we home school our children we as parents miss out on our own down time during the day and may be kept more busy as we are doing the leg work for their learning.

None of the choices above are bad or good, they are just different and with them have different sacrifices. There are benefits to all the above choices as well.

What we need to decide is what is the lifestyle or life choice that we want to live. Some people, and from my own preceptions it is mostly women, seem to want to have it all. We all want to be Martha Stewarts, which is not a bad thing, it's just not that realistic. To think we can have the perfect house and the perfect cookies, and the perfect homemade costumes or gifts, and having the perfect job and the perfect income and with that creating a perfect family, while it is great to try to have the idea of it, ] it makes me exhausted just thinking about it. It is almost impossible to have all those things without having help. Instead we need to figure out what we really want. Not worry about trying to have it all, because some of "it" we don't actually want.

So, what are someways that we can figure out what exactly we want? What will make ourselves and our families the best we can be? For those things are highly individualistic. Here are some of my musings.

pictures from salon.com

1. Have a Family Meeting
Family meetings are a great time to connect and see how everything is going. It's a way for each member of the family to voice their hopes and dreams in a safe environment and when they can come together and brainstorm ways to make dreams come true. It is also a great way to help each other prioritize and possibly even come up with a family mission statement so that everyone knows what they are working for and why they are doing it. Through these meetings the lifestyle of your family can be set to everyone's satisfaction, or at least mostly satisfied. Everyone may need to sacrifice something that may not be as important for the time being and then focus on it later.

This is also a great way for the domestic engineer to voice where she or he needs help and get the family on board for the domestic work that needs doing. While not every domestic engineer is going to have a eager volunteers, every little bit does help. Especially when there are still young children in the home. It is amazing what little work you can do with a toddler around who likes to empty cupboards and drawers. If your family doesn't know that you need help then they won't know what to do. You need to let them know so that hopefully they will help you.

2. Priorities
It is so important to get your priorities in tune with your partner/family. If they are not in sync then it is really hard to feel focused. You will feel tugged in a billion directions as you are trying to make your priorities happen, while also trying to support your spouse in their priorities and then if you have kids, you want their priorities to happen too. That is too much for one person.

To some families having a big birthday bash for everyone's birthday could be super important. If that is the case then perhaps they wouldn't go on so many vacations. Or, maybe vacations aren't as important as focusing on good nutrition. Figuring out your priorities (financial, personal) is really figuring out where you want to direct your energies. So, if, for example, your priority is organizing the house, you need to direct your energy towards going through stuff, making decisions to get rid of things, not bringing in anything that is not vitally important. Now may not be best the time to go on some fad diet or becoming the chair of a volunteer committee. We only have so much time and energy so it is important that we direct to what is most important to us, otherwise frustration will set in.

3. Have Realistic Expectations
So you have your priorities all set, you have had a family meeting you feel you have a focus. Well, you may wake up one morning not feeling like having to do what you have set out to do. Or you may not receive the help that was agreed on. Or perhaps you start coveting the happiness you think others are having around you. Life happens. You have to take one day at a time. Try to stay focused, but if you have an off day, that's okay. The important thing is we have more on days than off. We just need to keep plodding along and not give up on what we know we can achieve. If you are making a major lifestyle overhaul it is going to take time. You and your family will need time to adjust.

My two older children asked for more consistent responsibilities. I was all for that and came up with age appropriate ones such as setting the table, sweeping the floor and making sure the clothes were off their bedroom floor. We discussed it with them and they were all for it. Well, I called Miss G. in and asked her to set the table. Well, she came in and said, "Mom, I'm a kid not a maid. Do I look like a maid to you?" Now I'm not sure where she picked up such phrases. I'm pretty sure I haven't said that, but then I may have. Well, I as calmly as I can (calmness is something I must work at sometimes, especially when I am getting dinner ready) I explained that this was her night for that responsibility and reminded her that she agreed to it and we all had to help. She still wasn't the cheerful helper I was envisioning, but she still did it. Would I have preferred a smiling, less exasperating child? Yep. But, I was happy with what I got, a set table. We aren't going to have everything workout like a movie where everyone is happy and helping, but if we keep it real, our expectations can still be met, just with a huge dose of reality.

These are just someways that we can get focus in our lives, and through that see results and happiness come. Happiness really starts with you, and then as a bi-product helps others be happy too. It is hard, life is not always easy. But, it can be joyful. We just need to get onboard with those around us and have realistic expectations. Next week I will talking about To Do lists, and how they can be a help in our lives.

What are some ways you are able to find focus and thus happiness in your life?