So... what do you do?

Sorry for the hiatus. Last week when I was sitting down to write my post, a simple one about to-do lists, it kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I realized I had so much to say, that it was really like two or three blog posts. So, I decided to stop and take a week to figure things out and break it down. Hopefully I have been able to do so, and I won't go off on any crazy tangents. I still feel my thoughts are scattered. Let's see where this post takes us.

There will be times when I have to fill out a form, or when I am talking with another group of adults and inevitably the question will come, "So, what do you do?"

How do you answer that? The term "housewife" seems antiquated and now is used as a word that is almost synonymous with trophy wife. "Homemaker" is another term that doesn't quite fit. Using the term "full-time mom" is a bit closer, but, may make other women who are working outside the home feel that they are not pulling their own weight as mothers, as they have a full-time career outside the home. You don't stop being a mom just because you are not with your kids all the time. You are a mother always. Some people have adopted "domestic engineer". I kind of like that. It makes those who choose to stay at home full-time seem industrious, building something, and for lack of a better word, worthy of respect from those who work mostly in a corporate setting.

I know this might seem like over thinking things, but in today's world, when you stay home to raise your kids, or to make your home more industrious, society either looks at you as if you are too stupid to get a job, or some crazy hippie lady who is trying to make some political statement (no disrespect to actual hippie ladies), or you are trying to cash in on your rich husband. None of those accurately represent the majority of women or men who stay home, and they do not accurately represent me. Though, if my husband did get rich, I wouldn't complain. Society just doesn't get that some people just want to make their home a thriving and loving place to live full-time. That I would rather be the one that raised my kids, then paying others to do it for me. This decision is not an easy one to make and it comes with lots of sacrifice, but then, if we are trying to live more simply without all the stuff that says "you are successful" the sacrifices don't seem as great. It is getting to that point mentally that is tough though. As I have stated before on the blog, I can be a bit of a magpie, I like new and shiny things.

Okay, so now you have labelled yourself as a "domestic engineer". What the heck does that actually mean? What is the actual job description? Well, there isn't one. Or at least, there is no one fits all description. And that is where it becomes difficult for others to know what you do, and for you to know what you do yourself. I decided to make a list of all the different roles I do as a domestic engineer. In the space of about 5 minutes I came up with over thirty different roles. I won't list them all, but here is a random sampling: dietician, spiritual leader, event coordinator, laundress, walking encyclopedia, interior decorator, stylist, and teacher. That's a lot for one person to do with just that list, and then put even more on top of that and okey dokes. That is crazy.

a random sampling of things representing what a domestic engineer does

With all the different hats we wear it can be overwhelming. We want to do everything  and do it flawlessly. When we fall short of that standard, even though we are doing our best, we can feel frustrated and discouraged. Being a domestic engineer is an organic and moving job. This means we need to be flexible and forgiving. Life throws us curve balls, and we need to be able to be adaptable to those. And we have to remember the mantra, times and seasons. Sometimes it can be tough to be that flexible. I would love to have a set schedule, but I have discovered, that kids don't always want to follow that schedule, thus making being adaptable essential. (That was definitely an AHA! moment.)

Another difficult aspect with being a domestic engineer is that it is at times a solitary endeavor. Your spouse is off at work, your have young children at home. You need to be self motivating at times when you just want to through in the towel. You feel outside pressures coming at your because your house isn't perfect, you aren't looking perfect. It can be tough. When you are feeling those pressures get to you, reach out to trusted friends, online groups, or reread your favourite blog posts or inspirational quotes. If you are religious, turn your focus to God and his teachings to help you get the motivation to keep going. Being a self-started can be tough, but you just need to pull up your bootstraps and do it. Once you begin, it is amazing what else you can get done.

So while we are don't necessarily have a working definition of a domestic engineer, we know that it encompasses a lot, and that we are fortunate in our "job" to tailor it to fit our and our families' needs. That is a luxury not every job comes with.

Next week I will discuss ways we can gain focus in our role as domestic engineers and through that focus how happiness in our role can be achieved.

I hope you have a wonderful and happy weekend!