No, Because I Love You

from Toysrus UK website

Christmas is on Thursday. While I will be enjoying the quiet festivities of the day the lead up to it is not quite as enjoyable. And that is mostly to do with the stuff and me being a bit of a Grinch this year. I don't really want much for Christmas. And anything I do want is ridiculously practical. I would rather have a new faucet then some crazy bauble that I will have to dust. I don't need books as the library is amazingly awesome at satisfying my reading itch. I actually want less stuff than more. So perhaps a great Christmas present could be cleaning out on of the rooms that we haven't done yet (hint hint).

But that is just me. Unfortunately we have kids in the house. And while their lists are not crazy, they are still pretty long and I am like, I don't think so. This year we are trying to keep it simple but it can be hard, even when you are trying to be less consumeristic. It is also sometimes hard to explain to kids that they have sufficient when they see their friends given so much excess. 

This whole dynamic can be summed up in a conversation that took place in our vehicle a few weeks ago. We were driving home, after picking up my husband from work. Miss G. called from the back saying she had something to add to her Christmas list. When asked what it was she said, "A Frozen lunch bag". When you think about it, it's not that crazy of a request. It doesn't cost a fortune and it is useful. But, my response was that she couldn't have one because we love her. Then Miss V. said "I don't think you heard her right, she said she wanted a Frozen lunch bag for Christmas". I told them that I had indeed heard correctly and that the answer was still no, because we love her. Well that kind of confused them. What does it mean that I love Miss G. when I say that she can't have what her heart desires at that point in time?

We as parents and guardians have to say no sometimes. It sucks but it is necessary. We need our kids to know that just because something is beautiful or the current fad, doesn't mean that we need to go out and buy it. Miss G. has a perfectly functional and pretty cool looking lunch bag as it is. Why would we get a Frozen one when she already has one. Teaching our children to make do with what they have and, in a way, treasure what they have is so important. When all around them they see a consumer driven society it means we need to be ever vigilant of our consumer mindset. Does that mean we never buy things? No. But it means it should be a thoughtful purchase instead of in the heat of the moment. (That is something I need to work one. Oh, my magpie tendencies.)

Deciding what type of person we want to be correlates into the type of parent we want to be and the type of people we want to raise. While we love them and want them to have beautiful things in their life, we also need to give them the permission to say no to things, the blessing of saying no to things, the attitude of contentment with themselves. You don't need to say no to everything, but I think it is important that we are a little more selective about when we say yes and what we say yes to. Saying no, can often mean I love you.