For one of my friends I had a devil of a time trying to figure out what to even get her for her baby shower. I think I spent about 40 minutes in the store walking up and down and swapping out items. It was so hard! I wanted to make sure it was something that was useful and that the mother would like. I also wanted it to represent a bit of me and what I thought was important but, without imposing my values too strongly on her. That is a tall order. I ended up giving her some books and a cool looking wooden toy that will be good for when the baby is a bit older. By the time I reached the check out I felt I had gone through deep soul searching and I was exhausted. I then asked for gift receipts and was on my way. (Thank goodness for gift receipts. They really do take the pressure off.)
But this has got me thinking about what you really need when you are preparing for little ones. After three kids I have definitely wittled down the necessities. So here is my list and thoughts of what baby gear you really need. This is my own personal opinon, but it has been built through my own trial and error, so hopefully this will help you not go through the same stumbling blocks as me.
The Essentials
Carseat
This probably doesn't have to be on the list because it is so obvious. Yet, when it comes to carseats there are so many different options. There is the bucket seat there is the convertible and more. The best thing to do is to get a demo model to check to make sure the carseat will fit in your car, check out the heft, and see how easy it is to install and to take off the padding for washing. (My sister once bought a carseat and found out later that the only way to take off the cover involved a screw driver! That is insane.)
I use a bucket infant carseat for when they are first born and when they out grow that they go into a convertible carseat that can be rear-facing and forward-facing. Experts suggest that the longer kids are rear-facing the safer they are in the event of a crash (2 years at least). Often the kid will outgrow the bucket carseat before it is safe to be forward facing, hence the need for the convertible. I don't use the convertible carseat for little babies because the one we bought wouldn't fit properly in the car for it to be at the correct angle. Though my sister's convertible carseat has a removable headrest which makes fitting it in the car for an infant a breeze.
Stroller
A stroller is definitely essential. It allows you to lug a lot of stuff around without you having to do the lugging. While you can get a carseat stroller combination I wouldn't do it unless you absolutely love the stroller that is part of the combination. Most strollers will come with or you can get a universal carseat adaptor.
This is what I would look for when going out to get a stroller
- It can fold up compact and unfold easily. Nothing is more frustrating when you can hardly fit the stroller, and your stuff in your trunk. The stroller won't be useful if you can't fit it easily into your car. Also, you may be leaving your stroller with others. If there is only one or two steps to collapse it, it will make the sharing of the stroller less stressful for all. I remember one stroller I had needed 4 steps to collapse. Loved the stroller, just didn't want to leave it for a sitter.
- It can be steered one handed. I know from first hand experience how essential this one is. Most strollers on the market cannot be steered with one hand. That is frustrating when you are pushing the stroller and have a cranky toddler walking with you. Trust me on this one. Even my big double stroller that doubles as a bike trailer can be pushed and easily handled one handed and I am thankful everytime I use it.
There are other considerations to give but they are too individual for each person. These two are ones that, no matter who you are or your lifestyle, you should make sure the stroller can do.
Highchair
Some people have the talent of being able to hold their squirmy toddler while feeding them. I am not one of those people. I make a mess. Thus, a highchair is essential for me.
My favourite highchair that I have seen is this one from Ikea. It is the one we ended up getting and after three kids it is still going strong. It is cheap, easy to clean and very portable. Other highchairs probably work as well, you just need it to be sure you can wash it easily without junk getting in seams and crevices.
Clothes
Babies really need very few clothes, but there are so many cute things on the market it is hard not to get carried away.
Really all babies need are some sleepers, onesies and socks. When they start staying awake and moving more then pants, shirts can be easily added to the mix. For ideas on amounts click here to my post about clothing amounts. I would also check out second hand stores or children's consignment stores. You can get great quality stuff for very little. Or just wait for the hand-me-downs to start pouring in. Seriously I suffered from too many clothes and it drove me nuts.
Soft Structured Carrier
I love my SSC. I have a boba that can be used for newborns all the way up to toddlers without the need of an insert, which is so nice. I use this more than my stroller.
When my kids were younger I would use a wrap. When buying a wrap make sure their is a bit of stretch but not too much otherwise the material will stretch out too much and you will always be retying.
More and more you can get used SSCs. New ones are a bit expensive, but seriously they are worth every penny. Most stores will let you try before you buy. I would recommend you do this.
Somewhere to Sleep
When it comes to the question of where babies sleep the answers are varied. Some want a co-sleeping arrangment, others want the baby in their own room from the beginning. Really the choice is yours. From about the months 0-4 I prefer to have the baby sleep in a bassinet by my bed. It is hard for me to get a good sleep if someone is touching me, so the bassinet is nice because they are still close, but they aren't touching me. I also usually have it on my husband's side because the baby's breathing is weird and wakes me up. Once they out grow the bassinet then they move to the crib. The crib we got second-hand from my sister. If you get a crib second-hand make sure it matches the standards of the day and has not been part of any recalls. Bassinets are also available second-hand. Bassinets aren't essential, but they sure made my early baby days nice.
Don't Bother
Here is a list of things that I wouldn't bother with.
Infant Tubs
While in theory they might make sense, they are just more hassle then they are worth. I usually would bring them in the bath with me or in the shower. Other mom's I know would use the kitchen sink. Babies really don't get dirty and don't need to be washed everyday as it strips natural oils from the skin leaving their skin dry and in need of lotions. So really, just sponge washing them on an as needed basis is fine.
Soaps and Lotions
If you don't bath them too often using harsh soaps, your babies skin will be fine. Using water to bath is fine and then if their skin is a bit dry use some olive oil or some other natural oil.
Change Table
While it might be good for storage or to "complete the look" of your nursery, I found it was much easier to change diapers on a change mat on the floor or the bed. Change tables can be cumbersome and there is a greater chance of your baby rolling off. I would usually have some diapers, wipes and a portable change mat on each level of my house. I found that more handy and useful than having a change table.
To Consider
There's other baby paraphernalia to consider. They can be helpful, but if you don't have them it's not the end of the world.
nursing cover - I have never used them. My kids didn't want to be covered up when nursing. Other moms I know have used them with success. It is really about your comfort level, and your babies comfort.
wraps - sort of a repeat from before, if you have a nice SSC then this might not be necessary. If you do buy a wrap test it out first. Either borrow a friends or usually the store will loan it to you for a week. Some wraps have too much stretch and makes for an awkward time.
swaddling cotton blankets - these seem to be everywhere. If your baby likes to be swaddled go for it. My kids did not like to be swaddled at all, so I never bothered.
swing - my oldest loved the swing my middle didn't and we didn't try with the third. I would see if I could get it used or borrow one.
baby monitor - If you have a small enough place you won't need one. We haven't used one. If your house is big or you hang out in a place that is not near your babies room then it might be useful.
comfy chair for nursing - you will be nursing a lot, might as well be comfortable.
exersaucer - these are great, especially if your baby likes to stand up a lot and you need to give your arms a break.
So these are my thoughts on different baby products. If you are in doubt about a product or item just remember to keep it simple. Most things on the market or not essential. Babies really don't need a lot. They just need to feel loved and secure. Remember that you won't have to buy everything. There will be showers, gifts from family and friends, hand-me-downs, workplace gifts and more. Check out children's consignment stores before you buy new. Hopefully this little guide is helpful and gives you something to mull over.
Any links to companies websites are done just so you can see what the heck I am talking about. I am not getting compensated in anyway from them.
When it comes to the question of where babies sleep the answers are varied. Some want a co-sleeping arrangment, others want the baby in their own room from the beginning. Really the choice is yours. From about the months 0-4 I prefer to have the baby sleep in a bassinet by my bed. It is hard for me to get a good sleep if someone is touching me, so the bassinet is nice because they are still close, but they aren't touching me. I also usually have it on my husband's side because the baby's breathing is weird and wakes me up. Once they out grow the bassinet then they move to the crib. The crib we got second-hand from my sister. If you get a crib second-hand make sure it matches the standards of the day and has not been part of any recalls. Bassinets are also available second-hand. Bassinets aren't essential, but they sure made my early baby days nice.
Don't Bother
Here is a list of things that I wouldn't bother with.
Infant Tubs
While in theory they might make sense, they are just more hassle then they are worth. I usually would bring them in the bath with me or in the shower. Other mom's I know would use the kitchen sink. Babies really don't get dirty and don't need to be washed everyday as it strips natural oils from the skin leaving their skin dry and in need of lotions. So really, just sponge washing them on an as needed basis is fine.
Soaps and Lotions
If you don't bath them too often using harsh soaps, your babies skin will be fine. Using water to bath is fine and then if their skin is a bit dry use some olive oil or some other natural oil.
Change Table
While it might be good for storage or to "complete the look" of your nursery, I found it was much easier to change diapers on a change mat on the floor or the bed. Change tables can be cumbersome and there is a greater chance of your baby rolling off. I would usually have some diapers, wipes and a portable change mat on each level of my house. I found that more handy and useful than having a change table.
To Consider
There's other baby paraphernalia to consider. They can be helpful, but if you don't have them it's not the end of the world.
nursing cover - I have never used them. My kids didn't want to be covered up when nursing. Other moms I know have used them with success. It is really about your comfort level, and your babies comfort.
wraps - sort of a repeat from before, if you have a nice SSC then this might not be necessary. If you do buy a wrap test it out first. Either borrow a friends or usually the store will loan it to you for a week. Some wraps have too much stretch and makes for an awkward time.
swaddling cotton blankets - these seem to be everywhere. If your baby likes to be swaddled go for it. My kids did not like to be swaddled at all, so I never bothered.
swing - my oldest loved the swing my middle didn't and we didn't try with the third. I would see if I could get it used or borrow one.
baby monitor - If you have a small enough place you won't need one. We haven't used one. If your house is big or you hang out in a place that is not near your babies room then it might be useful.
comfy chair for nursing - you will be nursing a lot, might as well be comfortable.
exersaucer - these are great, especially if your baby likes to stand up a lot and you need to give your arms a break.
So these are my thoughts on different baby products. If you are in doubt about a product or item just remember to keep it simple. Most things on the market or not essential. Babies really don't need a lot. They just need to feel loved and secure. Remember that you won't have to buy everything. There will be showers, gifts from family and friends, hand-me-downs, workplace gifts and more. Check out children's consignment stores before you buy new. Hopefully this little guide is helpful and gives you something to mull over.
Any links to companies websites are done just so you can see what the heck I am talking about. I am not getting compensated in anyway from them.
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