Finding Contentment

I was talking with some friends the other day. They alluded to having a sense of not being happy or full of joy. They desired and craved after this but felt it was not coming to them. As we were talking this thought came to me. If we can't be joyful or if we don't know what will make us happy, we need to settle for being content.

What makes us content is different for every person. Some people find contentment in a nice herbal tea, or a good hot shower. For me being content is having a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back and my family safe and sound. Anything more than that is an added bonus. The more we find contentment in our small simple blessings the easier joy can infiltrate our being. If we are always discontent how is joy going to dwell there?

As we continued talking it also became evident that feelings of discontentment creep in when we compare ourselves to others. Comparison can be a good thing when it lifts us up to do better without feelings of guilt or discouragement. Yet, what we usually see from others has elements of falsehoods or untruths. People do their best to present their best selves. I know I want to present my best self (so when you come over to my house please don't open closet doors, an avalanche might fall on you). On blogs we never see the failed attempts to get things perfect or the practice it took to complete a craft or sewing project or whatever. We don't see the mountain of dishes in the kitchen to produce a yummy meal, or the other household tasks left undone or stories to children not being read as we do our other projects. We just see the end result that is usually picture perfect. We can't compare ourselves to these misrepresentations or feel we are not good enough if we can't replicate it on our first go. These are impossible ideals. So if you use comparisons make sure they drive you to reach to be better, not lead you to despair and self-loathing.

I think a lot of these joyless feelings come from the stress of perfection which we know is an impossible ideal. And this idea of perfection comes from comparisons, as illustrated above.

One way I get out of my joyless funks is by being kind to others. It feels so good and satisfying to do something for someone when they can't do it for themselves, or even when they can. Being able to be that helping hand means you are of worth and of value. And I think everyone wants to feel of worth.

Of course feelings of unhappiness could be symptoms of something more serious and appropriate counseling my be needed. But, in both cases, a general joyless funk, or a mores serious situation, a loving support system is so important. When you are able to surround yourself with love it makes even the darkest sky seem a bit brighter. It makes it easier for you to get your contentment back.

So, I hope during this time of crazy consumerism and holiday parties and festivities, you are able to take a moment to reflect on what makes you content and focus on that. This contentment will carry you through times when joy seems like an impossibility. When you feel really content joy is but a step away.