You Need to Plan

This winter my mother was hit with some pretty severe health problems which prompted us, and by us I really mean my two sisters mainly, into action in figuring out what to do. It was clear that my mother would not be able to return living in her home, as my father has his own dementia issues and would not be able to help. My mother had been acting as his primary caregiver and we knew that this would not be able to continue.

Luckily for us, though my parents aren't the best financial gurus in the world, they had a plan. My father was a chemistry teacher and retired with a very good pension. Through other government programs and old age security my parents did not have to worry about how they were going to pay for a long term care home. The money was there. That made finding them adequate lodgings easier and allowed let us not have the added worry of "how are we going to pay for this". My father was lucky having a pension. Not all of us in today's society are as lucky.

This got me to thinking about the need to prepare financially for the future and being prepared in your life.

Thinking about the future can be hard to do. When you are young, I am considering myself in that category at age 33, there are a lot of demands and pressures on your resources. You may want to establish a career, and that could mean not being paid as much as you might like. You might be starting a family or adding to it. You want to buy a house. You want to have fun, fulfill your dreams now and live in the moment. That is on top of regular financial demands of food, clothing, lodging and utilities. Your money has a lot of places to go, many of those immediate and not wasteful.

While we need to think of our needs now, it is imperative that we think of the future as well. Yes we all may have the plan and dream to buy a home, pay it off, and stay in it as long as possible. And that is a great plan, but as my parents example illustrates, that is not always possible or safe. My mom's decline was swift and unexpected. My dad with his dementia could not be left alone, at all. The plan of staying in their house as long as possible was just not a reality they could entertain.

So, while you are young and have the power of compounding on your side it is important that you add the future (and I mean like 50 years in the future) to your list of places where your money goes. Yes it might suck when you have kids who need piano lessons, or you want to go on a trip to Cuba. But trust me, your future self and those responsible for you in your future will thank you.

So what can you do to help be prepared in your life? Many things. 

If you are working contribute to your company plan. Many companies will deduct a certain percentage from your pay check and will match it up to a certain percentage. Free money, yes please. Often you are able to decide how the money you are setting aside is invested. So check it out, you really have nothing to lose.

If your company doesn't have a plan, or you are self employed or on contract or simply want to save more open an RRSP (or whatever your country's equivalent is). In Canada you are able to invest a maximum amount (found on your income tax information) into an RRSP. The money is tax deductible which means a bigger return for you and the money grows tax free. You don't pay tax until you take it out, and by then you will probably be in a lower tax bracket. You can also open a TFSA for saving as well.

Try to develop thriftiness now so you can save for later. It is hard when you are starting out. You want everything and want it now. By finding ways to get what you would like cheaper and saving the difference, learning to do with out, or being a bit more creative with what you already have will help. Also, if thriftiness is something you develop now when you are older hopefully you will still have those habits and will be able to make your retirement dollars stretch farther, which is always a bonus when you are on a fixed income.

Come up with plans for different scenarios. You might not have to do this right now if you are in your thirties but it is a good idea to run through and plan for different ways your life could go. What will happen if you have health problems? Who will be able to help you? Children? Friends? Where will I be able to go? Can I afford private care or will I have to go into government assisted care?

Keep abreast of government programs and services available. As much as we sometimes might complain about the government they do have a lot of great programs available for a host of initiatives. While these programs are great they are not always the best advertised. So do your homework, it will help you not only with yourself but your parents or others who might be in a similar situation. Because of my sister's awesome diligence and knowledge she was able to get some renovations done at my parents home that was paid for through a government program. We were able to access PSWs for my dad and there were probably other things that I don't even know about that she could have set up if needed. The government does have programs to help. Do the research now so that when you need them you already know how to access them and you won't be feeling the stress and the crunch.

Swallow pride and ask for help. When you get help receive it graciously. Part of growing up is exerting our independence and proving to ourselves and other that we can do it on our own. While that is great there are times when we need to ask for advice and help to do things. And that is fine. That is the whole reason why people acquire skills, it is for their benefit and the benefit of others. If needed ask questions of others how they prepared for retirement. Go to a financial advisor. Start a money group to get ideas of how to deal with money, budget and plan. Ask people to help you organize and be thrifty.

Be realistic and flexible. Sometimes when we plan things still won't go the way we hope or think. You need to be open. This could be with how much you want to save now, it could be once you you are older you may not get your first choice of residence. We have to be take bearings of where we are accept what can be done with the resources you have and make it work.

Be kind and helpful to your parents NOW. They have done a lot for you, they may be slowing down but be patient with them. Accept them for who they are now. They are not going to be the same as they were. Yes you may morn that, but just move on and accept them for the person they are now. The better you are able to understand their circumstances and limitations the more you will be able to understand your own golden years and what might be expected. Often when my dad repeats his questions or retells his stories, I look at my husband and say "this is what you have to look forward to". Be kind.

Do what you can now to be healthy and active. If you are planning an active lifestyle when you are retired, then you better be active now. You aren't going to miraculously be active in retirement if you are sedentary and eating horribly now. That just doesn't make sense. Your ageing body is going to change. There are illnesses that you can't avoid. Genetics play a role in things. But the better you are able to take care of your body now, the less complications and the more illnesses and pains you may be able to avoid in the future. It never hurts to take care of your body.

Looking towards the future can be hard, especially when your present may seem demanding. But doing these few things will help you have peace of mind later on. No one wants to be a burden on their family. Doing a few things now will allow independence, option and choice later on. Things may not work out how you want. You may not be able to stay in your home as long as you want. But if you are prepared and have a bit of a plan that won't be a scary thing. The resources will be there to make the transition as smooth as possible. 

Time to Get Serious! Getting back to budgeting and taking care of the home.

This fall everything just stopped. I had morning sickness that made me a couch potato. I paid the bills but that was about it. I was not super careful about keeping track of the budget. Housework and organizing was not a priority. I was in survival mode. And, to be honest, sometimes survival mode is what we need to be in sometimes. Especially when dealing with nausea or other health concerns. Sometimes real life just gets in the way of our plans.

When you are at zero it is really hard to get going again. Who wants to have to be the responsible adult with housework and budgets and other things that just aren't as fun or as interesting as my latest book? It is really hard to get out of the survival mode funk, even when you are physically feeling so much better.

While it is hard to get back into the groove of things, and we might delude ourselves into thinking that it is so much easier just to ignore things, that attitude can come with a price. That price is feeling out of control and stressed. That is how I was beginning to feel. My handle on the finances and the amount we accrued on our line of credit did not make me feel happy. The junk that was starting to spread throughout the house and made things impossible was adding to the stress of daily living.

And here is a mini-rant: Why is it that if something is missing it is the mom's responsibility for finding it. Seriously! Who came up with the mom must keep track of everything and know where everything is at all times rule? It totally sucks! End rant.

Now that I am in the third trimester I know it is time to get serious. Baby #4 is going to be here sooner than we think. Another survival mode is right around the corner once the baby comes and it would be super nice not to be derailed again. The closer to the due date I get the more I get what Jim Gaffigan was saying about becoming a parent of four. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It is hilarious. You can see it here.

So what am I going to do?

It is definitely time to get serious about the budget. I was definitely lax with it, we probably bought more than we needed or didn't think everything through during my MIA months. Throw Christmas in there and bam! I am not where I wanted to be at this time.

So, now is the time to re-evaluate our expenses and see where the money is going and figure out where we would like it to go. While there are some expenses you can't do without, such as rent/mortgage, food, insurance and other utilities there are lots of expenses that you can do without, or not fund as much. Figuring out how you want your money to work for you while being responsible with the most pay bills is super important and allows you to have more of a focus on your financial goals.

Part of this evaluation process has led to the creation of a slush fund. This is where we set aside money every month for those things that come along annually but aren't a set monthly thing. This would include things like sport fees, clothing, renewals for licenses, activities for the kids, and so on. To create our slush fun we opened a free savings account (we used Tangerine) and have it set up to take out a set amount of money from our chequing account each month. As we spend in our slush fund categories we can take the money from the slush fund and put it on the Credit card or back in our chequing account (wherever we spent the money from). I know it is more transactions (though with our accounts we have free unlimited transactions) but it will make keeping everything separate and easy to manage.

To keep track of our slush fund spending and regular spending I created a google sheet and shared it with my husband. That way both of us can more easily keep our spreadsheet up to date. Thanks Google! When I buy the kids clothes I just go to the slush fund sheet and put in the amount I spent in the "kids' clothes" category. It shows me how much we had budgeted for the year and how much we have left.

How did I come up with the yearly totals for the slush fund amounts. I went over what we had spent over the year, or how much things cost, like license renewals and got my numbers. Some categories I padded what with inflation, or in the case of kids clothing, if I can't find it used and have to pay for it new. (And my kids aren't going without snow boots just because I can't find their size at the thrift store). Every year we can go over and adjust the category amounts, but I would rather allot too much than too little.

Now that my spreadsheets are made, the slush fund is created and semi-functioning and I feel more organized in the finances once again I feel excited to challenge myself to live below the budget numbers I have set out. I look forward to challenging myself to be austere but still have fun. I look forward to putting more on the mortgage so we can get rid of that millstone around our neck. I am looking forward to see where we are at by the end of the year, and reflect to see if these changes, especially the adoption of the slush fund are working well for us. It is going to be a good year. I just need to make sure I stick with it, because I am the factor that will make it work or not.

Now is the time to get serious about stockpiling.

While I was researching ways to help cut food waste and keep groceries down, everyone talked about stockpiling. I sort of do this, but I found it confusing to implement for a long time. I still sort of do. But this is what I am going to do to get ready for June and to hopefully carry one with afterwards.

I am going to make sure the freezer is full of easy to prepare foods. That way my husband can make food without asking me a billion questions. And, when I am tired and not wanting to do anything I can just go down into the freezer and there will be something that I can throw into the crockpot in the morning or in the oven if it is later. Living in the city is so easy just to say "pick up a pizza on your way home" or "let's go out, I don't feel like cooking". But I know that this will not help with our budget, waistline, or health in general. Now, there is nothing wrong with going out, but you should do so for something special not the norm.

To cut down on some of the produce waste I have I am starting freeze whatever I can. Lately with apples I have been peeling and chopping them and throwing them into freezer bags. I usually put four cups in each bag. (Four cups gives me enough to make an apple crisp, and I love apple crisp!) I have also done that with peppers. That way I can just throw them into fajitas or other meals when I want some extra umph. Did you only use half an onion. Chop up the rest and freeze it. There are so many little ways, that don't add much to your time that can help reduce food waste and make food prep easier down the line.

I am starting to do the sale thing more where I stock up for 6-8 weeks of food that is on sale. And these are foods that I would have bought at full price anyway since I use them. It is not much use if you aren't going to use it, even if it is on sale. It's not a deal unless you use it has been my mantra for a while.

Slowly but surely I think I will get this whole thing figured out. But for now, I just want to make sure there is food in the freezer for when baby #4 makes its grand debut. Otherwise, who knows what we will eat!

Now is definitely the time to get serious about getting rid of the excess. The more stuff you have the more stuff you have to look after. And I think looking after the actual kids is enough. I don't want to have to look after all the stuff too.

So what I am doing to battle the craziness of stuff. Well I am overhauling almost everything. I am trying to maximize the storage I have and put things where they make the most sense. I am getting rid of paper clutter and staying on top of the papers that come in. I cleaned out the medicine cabinet this past week and got rid of all the expired medications and ointments etc. (Make sure to dispose of those in a responsible way. You can take them into your local pharmacy and they will make sure they are disposed of correctly.) It is amazing how much space you have once you take the time to actually get rid of the things that are expired. Seriously, why was I hanging on to it? I am reorganizing cupboards to help things function better. Visual clutter is being put away. It is so nice to have an item and know exactly where it's home is instead of shoving it somewhere and hoping you remember where you put it.

Matt is almost done our new office space. He just has baseboards to put up so that means the office will be moving. That will be exciting because we will be able to figure out what we want to keep and how we want to store it. I am excited for this liberating move and the chance to get rid of even more things!

On the kid front, a couple months ago I was a "mean" mom and took all the toys out of their bedroom. There room was just a mess with paper and clothes and toys. It was too much for them to be able to handle by themselves. So I took everything out put it in boxes and moved those boxes to the garage. They were able to keep a couple stuffies but that was it. And you know what? They have been able to keep their room neater, though I still have to remind them about putting their clothes in the laundry. (Seriously the laundry hamper is a foot away from where they get dressed, not even, just put the clothes in the laundry!!!) And you know what else? They haven't even asked for any of their stuff back! Once I am done with the office I will go through the girls' toys with them and we will see what we can get rid of. I am not completely heartless (only mildly so). But I think what we are learning is they don't need that much stuff. Less is truly more. You can have more happiness when you are not drowning in junk. With less stuff, will be less upkeep, will be spending more time with the people I love and doing the things I love. That sounds heavenly to me.

While this at times feels like pulling teeth, it is time to get truly serious about getting the kids involved in the upkeep of the house. Especially their own stuff. It is important to break the cycle of apathy and laziness that quite frankly they inherit from their parents. (Seriously, give me a hammock and my book any day over sweeping.) While I still want them to have the fun and joy of their childhood, now is the time to help them get into good habits that won't make them a nightmare roommate.

This means, helping with laundry, wiping the table, emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, sweeping and dusting. While they help with these everyday tasks, it means I can focus on the organizng of the house and the running of the home. It means I can invest my time in some of the bigger aspects of life and be less stressed in general because I know I have a team of kids (plus husband) who are helping with the little things that when go undone makes everything worse. Miss P loves having jobs to do. She loves helping to tidy and loves helping to sweep. Now is the time to harness this williness, as Miss V, who is almost 9 though seems more like 15 does not have the same enthusiasm. We may have missed the boat with Miss V, but here is the next one to put her on. We'll get there.

Hopefully doing all this, keeping better track of our finances, stockpiling, getting rid of the excess in our home and getting the kids involved will help us get organized and back into some good habits. My hope is this will help to simplify our lives, allow our family to be more joyful and be able to live a more full life. And, if it can crank down the stress I feel, and know I will definitely feel once baby #4 comes, well that is a a big fat bonus!

Recharging the Batteries

This past week was stressful. Mostly because the potty training was not going well at all. And then put on top of that lost shirts and lunch meal planning and feeling like I was getting nothing done... let's just say I was not my best self. 

So in a pleading phone call I asked my husband to take sometime off work so I could be by myself and recharge.

Now, since Wednesday, when I decided not to continue with the potty training, for now, the needing to recharge feeling wasn't as strong, but I still felt it was important to do something for me so I did.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I don't often get the chance to sit and think about what I want to do just for me. (That's not me complaining or feeling "oh poor me" or a call for sympathy, it's just the reality of being a busy mom of three, and that is okay.) I knew I wanted to do something active. The weather was so beautiful. I knew I wanted to do something that I haven't done yet that I really wanted to. So, I decided to walk part of the Trans Canada Trail, from the St. Jacob's Market to the actual town of St. Jacobs.

I love the idea of the Trans Canada Trail. It is neat to think that the trail I'm walking on could eventually connect me to places all across Canada. And that's no small feat considering, to quote the band The Arrogant Worms, "Canada's really big".

The section of trail I was on today wasn't super busy. I saw a couple of cyclists and a family sitting on one of the benches. But that was it. Just me, the trail, and the sound of birds and cars. This section of trail runs beside a highway, so it was rather loud. Not the best for soul searching in nature, but I'll take it.

I love the little curves under the canopy of trees. This will look beautiful in a couple weeks with fall colours

It's a bit fuzzy but this is one of the views of a farm from the trail.

I am looking forward to trying out some of these trails soon.

The Conestoga river. There was a nicer view at a different spot but people were there and I didn't want to intrude.

It is so important that we take the time once in a while to charge our batteries, and if possible, to find out what that thing would be that recharges us. When you are busy and have other people to be concerned with it can be hard to find what helps to refuel you as you are busy helping to refuel others.

While I was on my walk, I realized how much I missed these strolls in nature. When I was growing up we lived on 80 acres of wilderness. We had made our own trails throughout the property and every Sunday and sometimes more we were off on a walk to the see the beautiful spots we had discovered. We had a waterfall, an old mine, and a great loop through what we called the 12 acre wood. It was great to walk, to challenge yourself with the hills, to see the beauty of nature and the change of seasons. It was nice and peaceful and when I think about those walks I think of bliss and love. I definitely was living the good life. 

Now the thought of going for a walk with family does not incite feelings of joy. We have kids who complain about walking, or who walk too slow or walk too fast, or don't want to wear proper foot wear, or need water, or want to bring dolls or want in the stroller or out of the stroller, or are hungry, or are needing a bathroom even though they just went, and on and on. Not very relaxing is is. This walk taught me that I don't always have to drag my family along. It is okay for them to drop me off somewhere and me to just go by myself and reconnect with me. And by doing that they are probably going to get a better me in the process. Eventually I will invite them along, but for now I need to do these things for me.

There are so many other things that people can do to recharge. What do you like to do?

The Playhouse is Complete!

School has started and so hopefully I will be able to get more into the groove of blogging again. Man, distractions come in many shapes and sizes. And while most of the distractions have been my family, which is a good thing to be distracted by, it sure makes it hard to carve out time for me and my thoughts. Hopefully that time will begin again soon. Although, we just started potty training Miss P and that definitely has the foreground in my thoughts at the moment!

Well we did it. We completed a project!!! We are really good project starters. When it comes to completing the project on the time schedule that I want... not so good at. But we did it. This awesome playhouse was finished before the end of summer and that is a big win in my books.

So to recap the whole idea for this particular playhouse came from the blog vintage revivals. She has really great blueprints and instructions for the frame. (note previous post) But we did have to tweak the finishes. While she used a painters canvas for the roof and walls to give it a cool tenty feel I knew that that would not work in our climate. That canvas would get weathered and mouldy and not hold up well after a winter. So my husband and I went back and forth trying to figure out what the best solution would be. We thought of detachable roofs or just using a tarp and then a light bulb moment. We decided just to use the wavy plastic panels that are used on garden sheds and other structures. Seriously when we came up with it angels were singing up above. For our house we bought four panels and cut them in half. They were the perfect length and width. Seriously, they could not have fit any better. We also re-jigged the ridgepole to be two at angles to accommodate the angle of the roof better. We also put 2x4s at the bottom of the angles so we could attach the roof at the bottom as well.

For the walls we used lattice on all three sides. If we had thought it through we may have put up something in the middle of the long walls to give it support. If the kids push too hard on the walls they could break. But they are fine for now and the girls are really good about being careful with them. We liked using the lattice because it lets in a lot of light. Some play house are so closed off they can be pretty dark. This one is great because the kids can always see, yet it still gives a sense of privacy.

not sure what the fir branch is doing on the side. must be some sort of decoration :)

So it might not be the prettiest or cutesiest playhouse on the block but we love it. It is big enough and tall enough that it should be a nice hangout for years to come. And it was way cheaper than buying those prefabricated ones from the store. I see many tea parties and games being played in this house in the near future. Yay summer projects!

Oh the Projects on the Go!

Sorry about the hiatus. We were on a two week road trip vacation.

When we bought our house we knew that we would have a lot of projects to keep us going for a while. And while time is on our side to be able to do things slowly and at a pace we can afford it is hard to be patient. I have so many ideas of how I want different rooms to be that I just want it done now. But that isn't how it is going.

This summer there are two projects that we are tackling. One will be done shortly. The other will be well into the fall and winter.

The first is a little playhouse for the girls. Miss V and Miss G have been bugging me all winter about needing a playhouse or a clubhouse or a hangout or whatever you want to call it. Well thanks to pinterest and putting our own touches on it we found one that would fit our budget, did not involve trying to find pallets (they can be harder to find than you think) and will be big enough to fit them for years to come.

We took the blueprints for the main structure from this really cool blog. We had to tweak it slightly because she lives in a dry warm climate where I live in one that is rather wet and has snow to contend with. If you decide to build this kind of framed house yourself just watch the measurements for the roof peaks. We found that the length measurement was a little too short. It was fine enough, but then, we aren't picky. Just something to keep in mind.

This is where we are in it. All we have left to do now is put on the roof and the walls.

Our other project is turning our former, not being used for anything but storing junk, kitchenette into our office/craft area. This means a lot of getting rid of wallpaper and cabinets, fixing walls, figuring out lighting, pulling up flooring, putting down new flooring, deciding on appropriate storage etc. etc. This change came about because Miss V and Miss G decided that they did not want to share a bedroom anymore and that mean that they wanted to sleep in the spare room downstairs that currently holds our office. While their sleeping arrangement needs aren't dictated by them it did give me the kick in the butt I needed to get going on the kitchenette, which really was just a waste of space.

This is our kitchenette before we did anything to it.

the cow print wall paper is actually drawer liner

We have since taken out the cabinetry and sold it . We have also started to remove all of the wall paper which we have been slow at doing. We have also started taking up some of the flooring.

I am excited about having a blank canvas to work with and mould into my vision. Pinterest has given me quite a few ideas and I am excited to take those and make it into something new and mine. I will put up more pictures as the reno continues.

What building/reno projects do you have on the go?

Finding Joy at the Park

Last Tuesday the girls and I met up with some friends at Victoria Park in Kitchener. They have installed a new playground which is a lot of fun.

One of the new features of the playground is a structure that looks like a boat. The kids sit on it and then an adult can rock it back and forth. Now most parents usually just move it unenthusiastically just to rock it while waiting for their child to get off and then passing the rocking onto the next suckered adult. I know it is not a very positive way to look at it, but you as parents, you know what I'm talking about.

Well on this Tuesday the kids were in for a treat. There was a young man there, probably in his late teens who I'm assuming had some sort of mental special need, who was able to transport the kids into a world of fun on the high seas. He would stand near the entrance of the ship and yell "All aboard". The kids would rush on and take their positions. Then he would walk around this ship doing the safety check, mostly to make sure that no one was underneath. He would then get into position, ask someone to "ring the bell" and off he would go rocking the boat. The kids would then laugh and have fun as the boat moved up and down causing them to sway, loose balance and just have fun. After a few minutes the young man would stop. The kids who wanted to get off would and new kids who wanted to join would get on. He would then start again with "All aboard" shouted in this incredible booming voice.

While this boat thing is usually popular, I must admit I had never seen so many kids on it at once as when this young man was doing his thing. The kids just loved it. I think he loved it too. They were all just having fun and experiencing pure joy.

It got me thinking about how we as hardened adults of the world don't, as often as we should, take the time to let ourselves go enough to experience these pure joy moments. We are hustling and bustling trying to do things as fast as we can to move onto the next things. At the park I am usually on high alert at all times because Miss P likes to run, and she can run fast and silently. Seriously she must be part ninja or secret agent. Her agility, stealth and speed is quite astonishing. Anyways, because of Miss P's super set of skills it is hard to relax and really enjoy the moments at the park because I feel so preoccupied with Miss P's location. We miss out on a lot of moments of joy when we are distracted or moving too fast.

After this experience I am trying to make a conscious effort to slow down and look at the world through my kids eyes. Take in their joys. This past Friday Miss G and I had to go to the mall to find a bathing suit. Trying to find a kids bathing suit in July is an impossible task, which is kind of dumb because it is still summer and they should still have bathing suits a plenty, in my opinion anyways. So we had to go to store to store. I was feeling like I just wanted to rush it because I just wanted to get out of the mall, it is not my happy place. But Miss G showed me that even in the Mall small and simple pleasures can be found. We stood and watched the fountains for a bit. She then saw some tiles in a cool pattern that she had to investigate. Seeing the mall through her eyes helped me slow down and enjoy the experience a bit more.

I don't know why we feel we need to be running ourselves ragged, trying to get things done lickity split. While there are times when that is necessary, most of the time it is not. No wonder there are so many people stressed, strained, feeling overworked and depressed. Sometimes you really need to slow down and appreciate what's around you and find the small and simple joys that life is freely and constantly offering you if you just slow down enough to recognize it.

So thank you young man, whoever you are. You made a lasting impact on me and all the children you helped that day. Never loose your happy spirit. You are special beyond measure and you made everyone around you feel special too.

A Busy Start to the Summer

The past two weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster, hence no posts


Schools done which is awesome! For being on summer vacation for just two weeks we have done quite a lot. We have gone on a mini-road trip up to my mom's. I love going up to Bancroft, ON. It means I am super close to one of my happy places. It is a store called "The Shed" and it has the awesomest stuff. It has cool handcrafted furniture. It has awesome art work and the coolest wooden flowers. Each time I go up I buy some more flowers to grow my year round garden.

here are my latest purchases

On Canada Day we went to the movies (which is a rare occurrence for us), we got to splash around in a friends pool and then the older girls and my husband went to watch fire works. I stayed home with Miss P. and went to bed at a reasonable time.

Then on the weekend my church had a BBQ and then we went to some other friends new property and swam in their pool. (I don't think we will have to worry about not having a place to swim this summer!)

Then on Monday we went to Kiwanis Park to swim. Tuesday we went mini-golfing. Wednesday we went for a bike ride. Thursday we went to Music and Movies in Waterloo park. One of our favourite local entertainers, Erick Traplin, was the musical presenter. We always enjoy his sets. And the the movie we watched was Sponge Bob... definitely not my first choice, but the kids liked it.

Miss V waiting for the movie to start

There have also been trips to the library, the optometrist, other errands and hanging out. What a busy time!

the supersquad

Now we are trying to turn our focus to building the girls a little play house in the backyard and refinishing a part of the basement to make it our office/craft room. I will definitely have more posts on that coming up.

What fun things have you been doing this summer.

Wrenches Can Be Useful Tools

from wikipedia

I don't know about you but things in my life rarely go as planned. Things come up that can really throw a wrench in things. While at times this can be really frustrating, in the end, you end up with a sizable tool collection. These are tools that help you learn and grow and allow you to roll with challenges instead of comletly seizing up.

In my home lately we seemed to have never ending sickness. Just as one kid would be getting better the next one would get it and so on like dominoes. When I thought I would have a day to tackle a project one kid would end up at home from school. Now, I love my kids and enjoy their presence but, and there is a but, they can make accomplishing things a little difficult at times. So, when all of the sudden they were home needing my attention a few wrenches were thrown into the mix.

Now these wrenches don't have to be just our kids. As with other wrenches things that mess up plans can come in all shapes and sizes. They can be an unexpected repair, a medical emergency, running out of a key ingredient, bad weather, traffic delays and so on. All can be wrenches, but, all can make things better than expected.

Example. Last Saturday Miss G. was at camp and had to be picked up by 2 p.m. My husband wanted to help out at the ball field in the morning and I wanted to go to the regional museum as it was the last day of an exhibit that I wanted to see. I knew my going to the museum was going to be a bit of a squeeze, but I figured it would be okay. Well that morning, while my husband was at the ball diamond I got a call that we needed to pick up Miss G. because her tummy was bothering her. 20 minutes after that my husband was home with the van, I had packed a picnic lunch and off we went to go get Miss G. Since she didn't feel too bad we were all able to go to the museum and enjoy a lovely and leisurely time there. It was much nicer than if I was there and was constantly checking the clock to make sure we weren't going to be late. So, what could have been a wrench in our day (getting Miss G. early from camp) turned into a blessing in disguise. 

Because of these small wrenches recently I have gained valuable tools. I have learned how paper towel is made and what makes it absorbent. I've learned how to make paint for kids to use. I've learned to be a bit more accommodating yet I am still learning that one. I definitely need to figure out how to be more flexible. So, while in the midst of the chaos a wrench can create, try to think of it as an opportunity. When you can do that the wrench truly becomes a useful tool.

Yard Work, It Can Actually be Fun!

Miss V. and Miss G. preparing the front yard for their Fairy Forest

This week has definitely made me feel confident that spring has sprung. The weather was in the double digits for most of the week. I even got my first sunburn of the season. And, I think the snow has finally melted from all those shadowy places that snow usually holds out in.

With spring comes yard work and tons of it. Even though I thought I did a pretty thorough job in the fall, cleaning up the leaves and other debris, when the snow melts I am totally proven wrong. The leaves seem to have multiplied, little sticks litter the ground and holy pine cones Batman! In our front yard I have never seen so many cones as this year. There must be well over a hundred. As of writing this they fill about a fourth of the bin you see in the pictures, and we are not even close to being done picking them up.

Today the girls had the day off from school, and I needed the work in my front yard started. (I do not trust Miss P in the front yard at all. It is too close to the road, so it is hard for me to get out there and get it done.) I told the girls that the fairies came last night and told me that they love to dance in our yard and help their fairy flowers grow, but they couldn't get to their flowers because of all the leaves and pine cones. The fairies needed two girls to help them so they could come and dance. While Miss G. was skeptical of that story line, Miss V. loved it and soon both girls were out with their work gloves cleaning up. I know... I lied... but it worked and they are having fun. I hope not too much damage will be done to psyche.

After about 5 minutes they started planning more than picking up. They are planning to turn the front yard into a fairy town complete with university and "death school" (I don't even want to know). With a few gentle prods from me for them to keep going they kept up the work. While I still have lots to do out there, it is a start. I think the most important thing here is that the girls had a great time using their imaginations and are now so excited to make their fairy town a reality. I will make sure to post some pictures of their completed town, if they are actually serious about it that is.

What kind of yard work do you have planned? Do you use fairies as an excuse too?

Homemade Paint - for kids

This week has been a sick week here. Poor Miss G. She has had such a runny nose. It has now moved on to a cough. Poor girl. Hopefully this is the end to the sickness for this winter season and we will have nothing but health from now on.

Since Miss G. has been home from school she decided this would be the best time to do experiments. And why not? The schools science fair is coming up so this was the perfect opportunity to do her science fair project. She was looking at how well certain items absorb water.

I showed her how water absorption worked and what happens when things get over saturated. Here is a link to a great experiment to do with the kids. With the water left over from that experiment Miss G decided she was going to add a bunch of different things to see if she could make paint. I think she was on the right track but had the proportions out of wack. Well today we remedied that. Here is how to make homemade paint.

1 cup salt
1 cup flour
1 1/3 cup water
food colouring of your choice.

This makes four generous sized amounts of paint. For more colours either make more or have smaller amounts.

I found this recipe in the description of this youtube video. Thanks youtube! Have fun painting!

My Way to Unwind

Sometimes you need a little pick me up. For me it is when I get to view or use some of my favourite things. Nothing spells out bless to me like drinking a caf-lib or herbal tea in one of my favourite mugs. These aren't the fanciest of mugs. There is no interesting story to go along with them. I bought the blue one at a grocery store in university and the other one at Target. But, despite their seeming ordinariness they make me smile and I feel content.

It is nice to have things in your life that help you feel grounded and remind you of how content your life is. I am a natural complainer. If I can claim it as one of my talents then it would be near the top of the list. Because of this it is natural to think life is dismal and that it will never be quite right. But, give me one of those mugs and I realize life is not as bad as I am making out to be. I just need to chill out and smell the roses.

What I love to do is put the kettle on right before I tuck the kinds into bed, or put them down for a nap. When that task is done the water is ready for me to start making my drink. I then take my book and sit on my comfy loveseat and voila. A peace flows over me. Warmth from the warm drink floods through me. How can you not be content.

Sometimes, if I need a break from the barrage that can sometimes be my children, I make hot chocolate for my own kids in their favourite mugs. Sometimes I even jazz it up. They are happy and I get a few minutes of me time where I can just sit and let my mind be.

I was feeling very generous. Whipping cream and caramel sauce. Yummy!

What are some of your ways to unwind?

Who's the Best Bonhomme?

Being a stay-at-home mom, I am involved in quite a lot of our girls' life. We live a 5 minute walk from their school so I meet their friends and many of their friends parents. I am able to get to know their teachers a bit. I am lucky to be able to have that kind of relationship with people that my kids are with for a lot of their day.

My husband on the other hand doesn't have that. He hears about people and friends from our stories but quite often isn't able to have a face with the name. He is very involved with the girls too, wanting to know what is going on at school etc., but the connected feeling isn't always as strong. That is why it is so great when Matt goes on field trips with the kids or is able to help out at special events. The girls aren't stuck with Mom there, again. They feel excited when their Dad is taking time from his work to be with them.

Today the girls school was having Carnaval. It is their tribute to the huge winter Carnaval that happens in Quebec City. To learn more about Carnaval click here. What would Carnaval be with out Bonhomme? Well for the past two years Matt has volunteered (he will say he was voluntold) to be Bonhomme. And despite his reluctantness and a bit of complaining (very minor), he has been super stoked to do it. He is so good too. Waving, giving high fives, hugging. And the kids. They just love it! From the kindies to the grade 6 students. They all get excited when they see Bonhomme walk in.

Matt as Bonhomme

It doesn't take much to make our children's world a magical place full of wonder and love. While we don't always have to dress up like a fuzzy snowman, there are little things we can do everyday that make our kids feel special and full of worth. Many of these things take little effort or time on our part. We don't have to be scouring Pinterest to come up with some over the top display of affection. It can be as simple as giving them a hug and letting them know you think of them and you think they are great. It could be getting them a chocolate bar or other special treat. It could be going on a bike ride.

Our kids are only kids for so long. Already I can't believe that Miss V. is going to be 8 next month. Next thing I know she will be moving out... which I'm not too adverse to, but I know I will miss her sweet self. We need to do what we can to make sure our kids voices are heard and understood. Children want to be heard and want to know that their parents are actually listening to them. That message was really brought home as we watched the movie Box Trolls with my kids tonight. We also need to make their childhood have a magical quality about it. That doesn't mean that we shield them from the ugliness of the world. What it does mean is that we show them the wonder of the world more. The world is a magical place. We are so blessed to have a planet that gives us so much beauty. Let's share that wonder more, even if that means dressing up as Bonhomme.

Birthday Blitz

It is that time of year when we have birthday fever in our house. Within 9 days we have my husbands birthday, Miss P.'s birthday and then my birthday. That's a lot of cake! (In April we have a mini blitz with 2 birthdays in 4 days). I'm not sure how we got our birthdays piled together. My husbands and mine we couldn't help, but we must did some serious awesome planning fitting Miss P. in there!

Usually I try to make sure that everyone has an awesome day on their birthday. While I try to make sure they always feel loved and special everyday (somedays I am better at that then others), I try to make sure their birthday is even more special and full of love and that it centers just around them. This year, I haven't been feeling it as much. I think it is because I am tired and I'm focusing so much on my fitness goals that the time just escapes. Time management is definitely something I need to improve on.

It's also hard because their idea of the perfect birthday does not reflect mine. Since I am currently the mother of an almost 2 year old all I wish for is time by myself with no on touching me, or asking for food, or watching me go pee or stealing the ipad. My perfect day would be for me just to be quietly by myself doing whatever I wanted to do without interruptions or questions or food preparation (at least food preparation for others). Ah... I can feel the silence now, and it is wonderful. I am sure when my kids are older and I am at a different season of my life I will want loved ones around more or at least have them call me. But I'm not there yet.

For my husband's birthday he just got a nice meal and a cake... I did remember to give him a card, but that's about it. Shameful I know. But it's hard when he has to work and I didn't have the car. Miss V. was drawing him a card but told him he would have to wait for the next day to get it as there were too many candles for her to colour! I guess 33 is a lot of candles. But I think he still felt loved and appreciated. I hope he did anyways.

Miss P.s day is coming up next. Since the world basically revolves around her anyways I'm not sure what to do. I will definitely make some sort of cake. Though, she usually only eats the icing, so it might be more icing then cake for her. Gift wise, I think I will just wrap her up some "next size up" clothes. At that age it doesn't matter what the present is, it is just fun unwrapping things. So with that in mind, perhaps I will wrap up her pyjamas for that night! That should be fun.

Miss P. living life in the Dreamhouse!

By the time its my birthday, I am done with cakes and hoopla. The novelty of the birthday blitz has worn off. But maybe I will be able to kick up my heels and have a few moments of blissful stillness. Here's hoping.

So a Happy Birthday to everyone... Have a great week!

Good Old Fashioned Winter Fun!

I apologize for the delay in this post. I had an idea, and I was getting the camera ready to take some pictures and then, the battery died. (Note to self, always check battery life ahead of time.) The older two were home as well, meaning my day was thrown off a bit. But that's life right and life is great!

The kids were home on Friday because the weather was so cold they closed all the schools. While I'm sure there are places in the territories that get much colder than what we experienced, and they probably don't close their schools, I was happy for the reprieve. We got to have a lazy morning. I didn't have to make lunches or bundle up an crabby Miss P. in her snow clothes. Really it was a win all around.

Luckily the weekend had much warmer temperatures and we were able to enjoy the outside.

from lds.org media files

We went to a church skating party that was held at a mennonite school just outside the city. It was so nice. The rink was big enough to so that those who wanted to play some hockey could do it at one end and those who wanted just to skate normally could do it at the other. There were also the coolest play structures for the kids. It was made with wood and metal and would totally not be allowed at a regular school, which really is a shame.

They had this awesome hill in the back with a slide going down it. The kids loved sliding down it into a big pile of fresh snow. There were teeter-toters made out of big planks of wood. And fun swings. The kids had a blast skating, sliding and playing.

We live in a world of rules and regulations. We do this all in the name of keeping kids/people safe. Safety is very important, but at the same time it can be over kill. There have been reports of some cities banning tobogganing. To me that is crazy. Tobogganing is the best thing to do in winter. As with anything, it comes with an element of risk, but it is up to parents to monitor their kids and to teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Because of the lapse in judgement of a few, many are affected.

We need to let our kids play. And not just in the safe confines of our homemade bubbles. We need to allow them to have some elements of risk, that allow them to figure things out and learn to see hazards themselves. We need to arm them with skills and confidence so that they can keep themselves safe when we are not around, 'cause we won't always be. We need to let our kids have fun.

I think, sometimes as adults we forget to let our hair down and just have some good old fashioned fun. We spend a lot of our life wanting to grow up. When we do, we gain a lot of responsibilities. Sometimes those responsibilities overshadow everything and make it hard to relax and have fun. But we need to. For our sakes and for our kids'. Life doesn't have to be serious all the time. And our kids need us to play with them. So go tobogganing, go skating, have a snow fight, make a snow fort. If nothing else, you will be getting exercise, and your kids will be having a blast.

If outdoor winter activities aren't your thing, play hide and seek inside, or sardines. Play boards games. Play things, that don't involve a screen so you can really connect. Enjoy some good old fashioned fun!

The Importance of Dating Your Spouse

This morning Miss G. came running into our room at 6:47 yelling, "Today's Friday!!! Valentine's Party, Oh Ya!!!!!!!!" She spent quite a while picking out her most perfect Valentine's party ensemble. When I told the kids it was time to put their outdoor stuff on for school, she ran down the stairs, saying "yahoo, party time!!!" She then got dressed so quickly it was amazing. Usually she is the one that I am urging to put on her snow pants, reminding her of the necessity for mitts, and telling that it is not time to play or bug others, just get your dang stuff on! There was no need for that because today is Valentine's Party day and that means today is going to be awesome.

Now I'm not sure where she got all this excitement from. We in this house don't make much hoopla over Valentine's day. I am of the opinion that you should be showing love and making romantic gestures all the time. I will say that it might help with the February blahs to make an effort to do something lovely for those you love. But, Valentine's day, in this house at least, is not full of roses, and stuffies, and other things that will just add to junk. Perhaps Miss. G's enthusiasm was more for the party then it was for actual Valentine's day. Who knows.

Lately I have been thinking about the need for dates, especially when you are married and busy raising a family. It is important to have times with your spouse or partner where you reconnect. Find out about the actual person and not just their familial role.

image from lds media files

When Matt and I were married for about three years a wise man gave us some very sage advise. He told us that we should make dates a priority, and intimated that it was important for Matt in particular to make it happen. (Matt might remember it differently, but we will go with my memory for now.)

We did not always heed his advice, but over the years I wanted more and more for Matt to make an effort and take me on a date. I was beginning to understand just how vital those times alone together could be and I was yearning for it.

Now, some might say, "why Meredith, if you want to go on a date you should just organize the whole thing. Then you would get the date you want and everything would be great". And, yes! It is important that both people in the relationship take the initiative to plan something or suggest something nice to do together. But, and there is always a but, at the time, and still now, I needed to feel that I was indeed special to Matt. If I planned everything, where we went, getting the babysitter and all of that, I would not be feeling special. I would be doing all the work, and making sure that Matt felt special, and sometimes, we need to know that we are special to the other person.

Dates are a time in your relationship when you can demonstrate that you pay attention to the other person, and plan an activity that you know your spouse will appreciate. It shows that you think the other person is special enough that you take time out of your schedule to think about and plan something that both of you can enjoy together. To me, knowing that Matt has actually thought about what might make me happy and then making it happen is really sexy.

Life today can get so busy that our thoughts can get clogged with the mundane: our chore lists, our kids homework, what's for dinner etc. Often times we might go through the whole day and not think, what can I do today that will make the love of my life feel valued and special? We should think that and do something, but it is so easy for that to get over shadowed, and for us to take our spouse or partner for granted. Planning a date and having a regular date night, will help to make those thoughts be more at the forefront.

Dates don't have to be outside the home. Sometimes it is impossible to get a babysitter, or funds are tight and going to a restaurant or mini-golfing is just not a choice. But there are lots of fun activities that you can do at home. The key is, you make the time count, and make it special, or different from all the other nights at home.

Do something more than just a movie night

I love watching movies, they are funny and entertaining, but they might not be the best for your at home date night. Why??? Because it is the actors who are talking and not you. You need to talk, communicate and know each other. If you think about the conversations you and your spouse have they usually revolve around the kids, the house, and that's about it. This is a chance for you to tell each other about you. What are your dreams, do have goals that you are working on, where do you see yourselves in 5 years, has your favourite colour changed, etc. You are not the same person you were when you were first married, neither is your spouse. Life is all about growing and evolving. Make sure that they are a part of your journey. You need to talk.

Choose an activity that won't make either of your frustrated

Board games are fun. They are entertaining and can stimulate some interesting conversation. But if both of you are always super competitive, perhaps it is not the best choice. My husband and I like to play Ticket to Ride. And while both of us like to win, that is a game that we are able to set the competitiveness aside and just have fun building our trains. Playing that game with him is not stressful and I'm not feeling anxious. So, find an activity like that. It could be a fun video game, (we like Wii Party), or anything that allows both of you to have fun, and will not shut down the conversation and make you loathe the other person.

Make an effort

This is still your date night. If it is your turn to plan, then plan. Don't leave it to the last minute. Decide what you want to do and then set it up. You could create a snack that looks as appetizing as it tastes (fruit cut into shapes). You could decorate the table so it looks nice. You could get your spouses favourite kind of herbal tea. You could both dress up a bit more fancy. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It truly is the thought put into it that counts.

Try to talk of things other than the kids

Kids do take up a lot of your time and energy and thoughts. We love them, we want to do the best for them and when they are young, especially, we have to care over them all the time. It can be hard to switch off from parent mode. There are some legitimate things that you need to discuss with your spouse about your kids. Just try not to do it on date night. This is the time for you and your spouse. It is time for you to connect. And sometimes, since you talk about the kids most of the time anyway, it is hard to think of any other subjects. So, before you have your date (and this can be at home or out of the house) write down some conversation topics or open ended questions. I know it might seem sort of dorky, because the conversation should just be flowing, but guess what, the conversation doesn't always flow and you might as well have some back up.

If you need ideas you can go online and find lots. A blog that I read just had a post with interesting at home date ideas. Check it out here. 

Here are some more links with at home date night ideas. So choose something and start dating! Remember it doesn't need to be stressful or perfect. You just have to do it. It might feel weird at first if you haven't dated with your spouse in a while, but you'll get it. It will be well worth the time and effort.

45 At Home Date Night Ideas

Top 20 Stay At Home Date Ideas

32 Stay At Home Date Night Ideas plus links to over 300 more

Thrifty Stay At Home Date Ideas

No, Because I Love You

from Toysrus UK website

Christmas is on Thursday. While I will be enjoying the quiet festivities of the day the lead up to it is not quite as enjoyable. And that is mostly to do with the stuff and me being a bit of a Grinch this year. I don't really want much for Christmas. And anything I do want is ridiculously practical. I would rather have a new faucet then some crazy bauble that I will have to dust. I don't need books as the library is amazingly awesome at satisfying my reading itch. I actually want less stuff than more. So perhaps a great Christmas present could be cleaning out on of the rooms that we haven't done yet (hint hint).

But that is just me. Unfortunately we have kids in the house. And while their lists are not crazy, they are still pretty long and I am like, I don't think so. This year we are trying to keep it simple but it can be hard, even when you are trying to be less consumeristic. It is also sometimes hard to explain to kids that they have sufficient when they see their friends given so much excess. 

This whole dynamic can be summed up in a conversation that took place in our vehicle a few weeks ago. We were driving home, after picking up my husband from work. Miss G. called from the back saying she had something to add to her Christmas list. When asked what it was she said, "A Frozen lunch bag". When you think about it, it's not that crazy of a request. It doesn't cost a fortune and it is useful. But, my response was that she couldn't have one because we love her. Then Miss V. said "I don't think you heard her right, she said she wanted a Frozen lunch bag for Christmas". I told them that I had indeed heard correctly and that the answer was still no, because we love her. Well that kind of confused them. What does it mean that I love Miss G. when I say that she can't have what her heart desires at that point in time?

We as parents and guardians have to say no sometimes. It sucks but it is necessary. We need our kids to know that just because something is beautiful or the current fad, doesn't mean that we need to go out and buy it. Miss G. has a perfectly functional and pretty cool looking lunch bag as it is. Why would we get a Frozen one when she already has one. Teaching our children to make do with what they have and, in a way, treasure what they have is so important. When all around them they see a consumer driven society it means we need to be ever vigilant of our consumer mindset. Does that mean we never buy things? No. But it means it should be a thoughtful purchase instead of in the heat of the moment. (That is something I need to work one. Oh, my magpie tendencies.)

Deciding what type of person we want to be correlates into the type of parent we want to be and the type of people we want to raise. While we love them and want them to have beautiful things in their life, we also need to give them the permission to say no to things, the blessing of saying no to things, the attitude of contentment with themselves. You don't need to say no to everything, but I think it is important that we are a little more selective about when we say yes and what we say yes to. Saying no, can often mean I love you.

Meet My Family

I have been blogging now for a little over a year. It has been a great opportunity to reflect on what is important to me and what ideas I want to put out there in the blogosphere. It is also nerve racking. I would classify myself as somewhat of an introvert. I am a fairly private person. So, to put my personal thoughts out there can be exciting but also terrifying. Who knows what other people might think or say. But so far it has been great and I am loving doing it. Now that my youngest is a bona fide toddler it means time for reflection and actually writing down those musing is hard to come by. That might be why there are a few missed weeks, and also why I have now started posting on Fridays. So please bear with me.

And speaking of my youngest, that brings me to another point and really the point of this blog post. I have always referred to my kids as, my oldest, my middle and my youngest. That can be a bit confusing and weird. So today I will introduce you to my kids and the pseudonyms I am going to use for them from now until they are older.

Pseudonyms you might say. Why yes. I don't want to put their actual names on here. It is not because I want to be deceptive or nontransparent. It is more for their protection. Most people in the world are wonderful and friendly and everything you would want in a human being. Then we have the creepizoids. The people who do ridiculously horrendous things. While I am sure most people who read this blog are of the former category, since this is a public blog the creepizoids could get here too. So that is why I alter the pictures of my kids with sunglasses, and why I am not going to use their real name. I think that the sunglasses add a bit of fun instead of just using the regular black bar rectangle.

The reasons for doing this has hit home today. While I was listening to the news this morning I learned about a girl at a local school was almost abducted by a woman on Wednesday. The woman approached this girl, called her by name and said that the girls mother asked this woman to pick the girl up. Since the girl did not recognize the woman she did not go with her and a crisis was luckily averted.

I am not saying that if you put pictures of your kids up without altering them you are a horrible person or inviting misfortune. We all have to be comfortable with what we put up online and on our social media. For me I am more comfortable doing it this way, protecting my kids privacy, until they are old enough to decide if they want to be known in this way or not. You have to do what feels right to you. Also, it helps me maintain some of my own private world.

The names I have chosen are not the most inventive. Some people come up with clever nicknames that do with the child's interests. This however wouldn't be good for me right now as I would have to call my youngest destructor as she loves to destroy everything in sight. Or possibly the messanator. I am hoping these hobbies will be changing soon and would hate to pigeon hole her into that role forever.

So, here is my family.

This is Miss V. Currently she is seven years old. She loves to help her younger sisters, read stories and be lovely.

This is Miss G. Currently she is five years old. She loves anything to do with fashion, she loves to help in the kitchen, and she loves to play in the snow.

This is Miss P. Currently she is one and a half. She loves being a goof, sneaking into her sisters' room (much to the sisters' dismay) and singing "Let it Go".

This is my husband Matt. I don't bother altering his picture or name. I figure he can take the publicity. He is the master of selfies, the master of goofiness and in general one heck of a nerf-herder.And I love him anyways.

So now you know more about the characters that are at play in my life and in the blog. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and I will see you next week.