You Need to Plan

This winter my mother was hit with some pretty severe health problems which prompted us, and by us I really mean my two sisters mainly, into action in figuring out what to do. It was clear that my mother would not be able to return living in her home, as my father has his own dementia issues and would not be able to help. My mother had been acting as his primary caregiver and we knew that this would not be able to continue.

Luckily for us, though my parents aren't the best financial gurus in the world, they had a plan. My father was a chemistry teacher and retired with a very good pension. Through other government programs and old age security my parents did not have to worry about how they were going to pay for a long term care home. The money was there. That made finding them adequate lodgings easier and allowed let us not have the added worry of "how are we going to pay for this". My father was lucky having a pension. Not all of us in today's society are as lucky.

This got me to thinking about the need to prepare financially for the future and being prepared in your life.

Thinking about the future can be hard to do. When you are young, I am considering myself in that category at age 33, there are a lot of demands and pressures on your resources. You may want to establish a career, and that could mean not being paid as much as you might like. You might be starting a family or adding to it. You want to buy a house. You want to have fun, fulfill your dreams now and live in the moment. That is on top of regular financial demands of food, clothing, lodging and utilities. Your money has a lot of places to go, many of those immediate and not wasteful.

While we need to think of our needs now, it is imperative that we think of the future as well. Yes we all may have the plan and dream to buy a home, pay it off, and stay in it as long as possible. And that is a great plan, but as my parents example illustrates, that is not always possible or safe. My mom's decline was swift and unexpected. My dad with his dementia could not be left alone, at all. The plan of staying in their house as long as possible was just not a reality they could entertain.

So, while you are young and have the power of compounding on your side it is important that you add the future (and I mean like 50 years in the future) to your list of places where your money goes. Yes it might suck when you have kids who need piano lessons, or you want to go on a trip to Cuba. But trust me, your future self and those responsible for you in your future will thank you.

So what can you do to help be prepared in your life? Many things. 

If you are working contribute to your company plan. Many companies will deduct a certain percentage from your pay check and will match it up to a certain percentage. Free money, yes please. Often you are able to decide how the money you are setting aside is invested. So check it out, you really have nothing to lose.

If your company doesn't have a plan, or you are self employed or on contract or simply want to save more open an RRSP (or whatever your country's equivalent is). In Canada you are able to invest a maximum amount (found on your income tax information) into an RRSP. The money is tax deductible which means a bigger return for you and the money grows tax free. You don't pay tax until you take it out, and by then you will probably be in a lower tax bracket. You can also open a TFSA for saving as well.

Try to develop thriftiness now so you can save for later. It is hard when you are starting out. You want everything and want it now. By finding ways to get what you would like cheaper and saving the difference, learning to do with out, or being a bit more creative with what you already have will help. Also, if thriftiness is something you develop now when you are older hopefully you will still have those habits and will be able to make your retirement dollars stretch farther, which is always a bonus when you are on a fixed income.

Come up with plans for different scenarios. You might not have to do this right now if you are in your thirties but it is a good idea to run through and plan for different ways your life could go. What will happen if you have health problems? Who will be able to help you? Children? Friends? Where will I be able to go? Can I afford private care or will I have to go into government assisted care?

Keep abreast of government programs and services available. As much as we sometimes might complain about the government they do have a lot of great programs available for a host of initiatives. While these programs are great they are not always the best advertised. So do your homework, it will help you not only with yourself but your parents or others who might be in a similar situation. Because of my sister's awesome diligence and knowledge she was able to get some renovations done at my parents home that was paid for through a government program. We were able to access PSWs for my dad and there were probably other things that I don't even know about that she could have set up if needed. The government does have programs to help. Do the research now so that when you need them you already know how to access them and you won't be feeling the stress and the crunch.

Swallow pride and ask for help. When you get help receive it graciously. Part of growing up is exerting our independence and proving to ourselves and other that we can do it on our own. While that is great there are times when we need to ask for advice and help to do things. And that is fine. That is the whole reason why people acquire skills, it is for their benefit and the benefit of others. If needed ask questions of others how they prepared for retirement. Go to a financial advisor. Start a money group to get ideas of how to deal with money, budget and plan. Ask people to help you organize and be thrifty.

Be realistic and flexible. Sometimes when we plan things still won't go the way we hope or think. You need to be open. This could be with how much you want to save now, it could be once you you are older you may not get your first choice of residence. We have to be take bearings of where we are accept what can be done with the resources you have and make it work.

Be kind and helpful to your parents NOW. They have done a lot for you, they may be slowing down but be patient with them. Accept them for who they are now. They are not going to be the same as they were. Yes you may morn that, but just move on and accept them for the person they are now. The better you are able to understand their circumstances and limitations the more you will be able to understand your own golden years and what might be expected. Often when my dad repeats his questions or retells his stories, I look at my husband and say "this is what you have to look forward to". Be kind.

Do what you can now to be healthy and active. If you are planning an active lifestyle when you are retired, then you better be active now. You aren't going to miraculously be active in retirement if you are sedentary and eating horribly now. That just doesn't make sense. Your ageing body is going to change. There are illnesses that you can't avoid. Genetics play a role in things. But the better you are able to take care of your body now, the less complications and the more illnesses and pains you may be able to avoid in the future. It never hurts to take care of your body.

Looking towards the future can be hard, especially when your present may seem demanding. But doing these few things will help you have peace of mind later on. No one wants to be a burden on their family. Doing a few things now will allow independence, option and choice later on. Things may not work out how you want. You may not be able to stay in your home as long as you want. But if you are prepared and have a bit of a plan that won't be a scary thing. The resources will be there to make the transition as smooth as possible. 

Time to Get Serious! Getting back to budgeting and taking care of the home.

This fall everything just stopped. I had morning sickness that made me a couch potato. I paid the bills but that was about it. I was not super careful about keeping track of the budget. Housework and organizing was not a priority. I was in survival mode. And, to be honest, sometimes survival mode is what we need to be in sometimes. Especially when dealing with nausea or other health concerns. Sometimes real life just gets in the way of our plans.

When you are at zero it is really hard to get going again. Who wants to have to be the responsible adult with housework and budgets and other things that just aren't as fun or as interesting as my latest book? It is really hard to get out of the survival mode funk, even when you are physically feeling so much better.

While it is hard to get back into the groove of things, and we might delude ourselves into thinking that it is so much easier just to ignore things, that attitude can come with a price. That price is feeling out of control and stressed. That is how I was beginning to feel. My handle on the finances and the amount we accrued on our line of credit did not make me feel happy. The junk that was starting to spread throughout the house and made things impossible was adding to the stress of daily living.

And here is a mini-rant: Why is it that if something is missing it is the mom's responsibility for finding it. Seriously! Who came up with the mom must keep track of everything and know where everything is at all times rule? It totally sucks! End rant.

Now that I am in the third trimester I know it is time to get serious. Baby #4 is going to be here sooner than we think. Another survival mode is right around the corner once the baby comes and it would be super nice not to be derailed again. The closer to the due date I get the more I get what Jim Gaffigan was saying about becoming a parent of four. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It is hilarious. You can see it here.

So what am I going to do?

It is definitely time to get serious about the budget. I was definitely lax with it, we probably bought more than we needed or didn't think everything through during my MIA months. Throw Christmas in there and bam! I am not where I wanted to be at this time.

So, now is the time to re-evaluate our expenses and see where the money is going and figure out where we would like it to go. While there are some expenses you can't do without, such as rent/mortgage, food, insurance and other utilities there are lots of expenses that you can do without, or not fund as much. Figuring out how you want your money to work for you while being responsible with the most pay bills is super important and allows you to have more of a focus on your financial goals.

Part of this evaluation process has led to the creation of a slush fund. This is where we set aside money every month for those things that come along annually but aren't a set monthly thing. This would include things like sport fees, clothing, renewals for licenses, activities for the kids, and so on. To create our slush fun we opened a free savings account (we used Tangerine) and have it set up to take out a set amount of money from our chequing account each month. As we spend in our slush fund categories we can take the money from the slush fund and put it on the Credit card or back in our chequing account (wherever we spent the money from). I know it is more transactions (though with our accounts we have free unlimited transactions) but it will make keeping everything separate and easy to manage.

To keep track of our slush fund spending and regular spending I created a google sheet and shared it with my husband. That way both of us can more easily keep our spreadsheet up to date. Thanks Google! When I buy the kids clothes I just go to the slush fund sheet and put in the amount I spent in the "kids' clothes" category. It shows me how much we had budgeted for the year and how much we have left.

How did I come up with the yearly totals for the slush fund amounts. I went over what we had spent over the year, or how much things cost, like license renewals and got my numbers. Some categories I padded what with inflation, or in the case of kids clothing, if I can't find it used and have to pay for it new. (And my kids aren't going without snow boots just because I can't find their size at the thrift store). Every year we can go over and adjust the category amounts, but I would rather allot too much than too little.

Now that my spreadsheets are made, the slush fund is created and semi-functioning and I feel more organized in the finances once again I feel excited to challenge myself to live below the budget numbers I have set out. I look forward to challenging myself to be austere but still have fun. I look forward to putting more on the mortgage so we can get rid of that millstone around our neck. I am looking forward to see where we are at by the end of the year, and reflect to see if these changes, especially the adoption of the slush fund are working well for us. It is going to be a good year. I just need to make sure I stick with it, because I am the factor that will make it work or not.

Now is the time to get serious about stockpiling.

While I was researching ways to help cut food waste and keep groceries down, everyone talked about stockpiling. I sort of do this, but I found it confusing to implement for a long time. I still sort of do. But this is what I am going to do to get ready for June and to hopefully carry one with afterwards.

I am going to make sure the freezer is full of easy to prepare foods. That way my husband can make food without asking me a billion questions. And, when I am tired and not wanting to do anything I can just go down into the freezer and there will be something that I can throw into the crockpot in the morning or in the oven if it is later. Living in the city is so easy just to say "pick up a pizza on your way home" or "let's go out, I don't feel like cooking". But I know that this will not help with our budget, waistline, or health in general. Now, there is nothing wrong with going out, but you should do so for something special not the norm.

To cut down on some of the produce waste I have I am starting freeze whatever I can. Lately with apples I have been peeling and chopping them and throwing them into freezer bags. I usually put four cups in each bag. (Four cups gives me enough to make an apple crisp, and I love apple crisp!) I have also done that with peppers. That way I can just throw them into fajitas or other meals when I want some extra umph. Did you only use half an onion. Chop up the rest and freeze it. There are so many little ways, that don't add much to your time that can help reduce food waste and make food prep easier down the line.

I am starting to do the sale thing more where I stock up for 6-8 weeks of food that is on sale. And these are foods that I would have bought at full price anyway since I use them. It is not much use if you aren't going to use it, even if it is on sale. It's not a deal unless you use it has been my mantra for a while.

Slowly but surely I think I will get this whole thing figured out. But for now, I just want to make sure there is food in the freezer for when baby #4 makes its grand debut. Otherwise, who knows what we will eat!

Now is definitely the time to get serious about getting rid of the excess. The more stuff you have the more stuff you have to look after. And I think looking after the actual kids is enough. I don't want to have to look after all the stuff too.

So what I am doing to battle the craziness of stuff. Well I am overhauling almost everything. I am trying to maximize the storage I have and put things where they make the most sense. I am getting rid of paper clutter and staying on top of the papers that come in. I cleaned out the medicine cabinet this past week and got rid of all the expired medications and ointments etc. (Make sure to dispose of those in a responsible way. You can take them into your local pharmacy and they will make sure they are disposed of correctly.) It is amazing how much space you have once you take the time to actually get rid of the things that are expired. Seriously, why was I hanging on to it? I am reorganizing cupboards to help things function better. Visual clutter is being put away. It is so nice to have an item and know exactly where it's home is instead of shoving it somewhere and hoping you remember where you put it.

Matt is almost done our new office space. He just has baseboards to put up so that means the office will be moving. That will be exciting because we will be able to figure out what we want to keep and how we want to store it. I am excited for this liberating move and the chance to get rid of even more things!

On the kid front, a couple months ago I was a "mean" mom and took all the toys out of their bedroom. There room was just a mess with paper and clothes and toys. It was too much for them to be able to handle by themselves. So I took everything out put it in boxes and moved those boxes to the garage. They were able to keep a couple stuffies but that was it. And you know what? They have been able to keep their room neater, though I still have to remind them about putting their clothes in the laundry. (Seriously the laundry hamper is a foot away from where they get dressed, not even, just put the clothes in the laundry!!!) And you know what else? They haven't even asked for any of their stuff back! Once I am done with the office I will go through the girls' toys with them and we will see what we can get rid of. I am not completely heartless (only mildly so). But I think what we are learning is they don't need that much stuff. Less is truly more. You can have more happiness when you are not drowning in junk. With less stuff, will be less upkeep, will be spending more time with the people I love and doing the things I love. That sounds heavenly to me.

While this at times feels like pulling teeth, it is time to get truly serious about getting the kids involved in the upkeep of the house. Especially their own stuff. It is important to break the cycle of apathy and laziness that quite frankly they inherit from their parents. (Seriously, give me a hammock and my book any day over sweeping.) While I still want them to have the fun and joy of their childhood, now is the time to help them get into good habits that won't make them a nightmare roommate.

This means, helping with laundry, wiping the table, emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, sweeping and dusting. While they help with these everyday tasks, it means I can focus on the organizng of the house and the running of the home. It means I can invest my time in some of the bigger aspects of life and be less stressed in general because I know I have a team of kids (plus husband) who are helping with the little things that when go undone makes everything worse. Miss P loves having jobs to do. She loves helping to tidy and loves helping to sweep. Now is the time to harness this williness, as Miss V, who is almost 9 though seems more like 15 does not have the same enthusiasm. We may have missed the boat with Miss V, but here is the next one to put her on. We'll get there.

Hopefully doing all this, keeping better track of our finances, stockpiling, getting rid of the excess in our home and getting the kids involved will help us get organized and back into some good habits. My hope is this will help to simplify our lives, allow our family to be more joyful and be able to live a more full life. And, if it can crank down the stress I feel, and know I will definitely feel once baby #4 comes, well that is a a big fat bonus!

Paying Down the Mortage

Lately my posts have been functional and factual. Today will not be an exception, but perhaps next week will be a bit more fun. I think I need to put down what I am trying to accomplish in this blogosphere format so that I will feel motivated and actually do what I set out to do. Are you like that too? So, onto today's subject: getting our mortgage amount down.

This year, we want to get our mortgage down by $10,000. That means on December 31st of this year our mortgage hopefully will be $10, 000 less then it was on January 1st of this year. With our regular payments we would be able to put around $5000 onto our principle. That is the sad thing about being at the beginning of our mortgage, just over half of our payment goes to the interest!

Here are some of our plans to get to the extra $5000 onto our mortgage. (Before you do this double check your mortgage rules. Most mortgages will allow to pay a certain percentage each year or increase payments without penalties, so check those amounts. No one wants to pay a penalty.)

1. Increase the mortgage payment.

Currently we pay every two weeks. We have it so the mortgage is taken off right after we get paid, which is really handy as it is out of the account before we even notice it.

This year my husbands company is restructuring how they receive part of their bonus. So now instead of being paid out a big amount in March, and then getting taxed at the bonus tax rate (which is super high), all employees across the board are getting a pay raise!

We have decided to increase our mortgage payment by at least the percentage of the pay raise though we will probably do more. This is something that you could do too. Most mortgages allow you to increase your payments by a certain percentage each year. If you get a pay raise calculate the percentage of increase, then increase your mortgage by the same amount. It is pretty painless and you don't have to think about it. The only thing you have to do is call and set it up. Then sit back and let it happen.

We are planning on taking this a step further. When we got our mortgage interest rates were pretty low. We know that when our 5 years is up (we have 2.5 years left), and we have to renegotiate, the interest rates will undoubtedly be higher. We don't want to be stuck in the lurch (hence why we are trying to payback as much as possible), so this is what I did.

• I found out the highest interest rate for a 5 year fixed mortgage.
• I calculated how much would be left on our mortgage at the end of our term if we put nothing extra on it. (There are lots of online calculators that will help you do this.)
• I calculated what the payment would be at that interest rate that mortgage amount lowering the amortization period to what it will be when we renegotiate.
• I made that number our new payment

It is a bit higher than what is most comfortable, but we are really wanting to make a dent in our mortgage. If it is too much we can always lower it again. I figured this way if our payments did go up, we would already be used to it, but also, it is an easy way to put more on your mortgage and then not have to pay as much with the next term. Or we could even shorten our amortization if we wanted. Doing this allows us to have more options when it comes to renegotiating our mortgage.

2. Extra pays

Since we get paid every two weeks there are two months each year where we have a third pay. When those third pays come up, we will put the leftover onto the mortgage. So, whatever is left over after the usual things come off (i.e. savings and mortgage payment) we will put it right onto the mortgage. For us that means putting on the equivalent of another months mortgage when you add up the two payments. That's pretty substantial. And the best part, it goes right on to the principle (though you should double check that). Lower principle means lower interest and that makes me happy.

This could also include any bonuses you might receive. At my husbands company they get paid a bonus every March. While this years bonus is going to go towards savings goals we have, next year the bulk will be going onto the mortgage.

Tax returns are the same. This year again, we are putting our tax return to savings but next year we will be putting a big chunk of it onto the mortgage. We want this sucker gone!

3. Be financially prudent

As I have said in another post, this is the year that we are really going to be watching our spending, curbing our wants and really get our financial house in order. We have other financial goals, besides the mortgage. We want to have $5000 in savings by the time this year is done and we want to be able to save for our summer vacation so we don't have any debt because of it. So, our aim for our vacation is around $5000, though hopefully we can do it for cheaper. (Though the exchange rate is not going to be very kind to us unless the dollar picks up before summer.)

If we achieve these two goals quickly, because of being prudent, we will be able to shift our focus solely onto the mortgage and adjust the cashflow so more can go onto the mortgage. That way, if we have extra cash because we don't have to pay our health insurance fees for a pay period, or if we have maxed out our CPP and EI payments and don't have to pay those anymore (it usually happens in September for us) we can put all of it on the mortgage instead of savings or some other debt we could have if were were not being prudent.

I know I sound like a broken record when I say that every little bit helps and it all adds up, but it is true. Little things will make a big impact down the road. Sometimes we want things to be different or change right away. And the thing is, that's not going to happen. If you have debt, of any kind, you have interest working against you and it is a constant obligation. It doesn't take you long to dig a financial hole, but filling it up takes a while, and it is not the most fun thing to do. But you know what? Just do it, and you will feel so awesome when it's done. That's how I felt when I made my last student loan payment (and I did that only four years after graduating!)

Do you have any tips for paying down your mortgage, or other debt? What has worked for you?

The Junk: Baby Steps Are Key to Decluttering

Decluttering this year is a big thing for me. I am ready to purge and let go. If you are like me you may feel like you are drowning in stuff. I let things accumulate and accumulate until it is just ridiculous.

I have given myself the deadline of March 31st to have my basement purged. So that means our office, playroom, kitchenette, and garage. Though, our garage is not insulated, so I might wait until spring to do that.

Because there is so much junk the thought of decluttering can see overwhelming and time consuming, but, it doesn't have to be. By organizing things into babysteps you can get things done without feeling over burdened and defeatist.

My friend sent me this link to Home Storage Solutions 101's 15 minute declutter challenge. They give you a calendar for the month and give you a task to complete that day, spending only 15 minutes each day to complete that day's task. January starts with your kitchen.

I like the idea, it allows you to break things into smaller chunks but you are still doing something instead of ignoring the problem, which, let's face it, we all do. Since my kitchen isn't that bad, I'm not following their plan. But, I am taking the principles they are using and applying it to my own situation. Here's what I'm doing.

• Choose a room and divide that room into different sections to tackle.
• Set a timer for 20 minutes and do what you can in that time.
• Complete the first section before moving onto the next section.
• Empty out the section of the room you are working on and put back what you actually want, everything else goes either in the garbage, recycling or give away.

I have been doing this for two weeks now. I give myself a break on the weekends so we can do other chores and fun family things. I didn't do it yesterday as it was a busy day full of errands and then I felt utterly exhausted, so I might set the timer for 30 minutes today instead. And you know what, it is okay if you have to bend the rules a bit for this. The important thing is consistancy. I am amazed how much I have done in so little time. The first section of the office is looking great and I can't wait to tackle the next section.

Do you have decluttering tips you like to use?

5 Ways To Do What You Want Without Going Broke

How has your first full week of 2015 been? Are you still excited about the upcoming year? While, I am still excited and feeling optimistic, I am starting to come down from the euphoria of the the new year and settling in to the work part of it. It is great to dream and scheme, heck I do that all the time, but, to actually see those dreams become a reality, that takes work. Work! Ah man!!! The more in dream world you remain the more frustrated you will be when you come out if it and see that nothing has changed in your reality.

This year one of the key things on my list of must do better at, is the budget. I usually am good at setting out a budget and tracking my expenses. I even can quasi follow my budget if I do those two things. But as said in the last post, For the last third of the year I just didn't. I didn't even look a the numbers, it wasn't on my radar. Luckily we didn't do too much damage, but I know we can do better. So while this will definitely be a more austere year, pinching pennies, tightening our belts and purse strings, it doesn't mean that we can't have fun or success in some of our other goals. If you are too glum and sacrificing, you aren't going to want to stick to anything.

So here are 5 ways you can do what you want without going broke.

from http://www.mayowynnebaxter.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Broken-Piggy-Bank.jpg

1. Get movies from the library.

It is pretty thrilling when you get to see the latest block buster in theatres. Sitting in the stadium seating is amazing and the sound quality is awesome. But it costs an insane amount of money. Over the holidays we took our family to the movies. We rarely go and it had been a while since we had gone. My husband and I were shocked at the end of it when we saw how much we spent. We went to a matinee which is already cheaper, we shared drinks popcorn and nachos (this was our healthy lunch for the day) and the grand total was $55. WHAT?!?!? And that was with paying admission for just four as we don't have to pay for Miss P. yet. If we hadn't gone during lunchtime hours I probably wouldn't have ordered the nachos, but still, it is crazy. No wonder we don't go very often.

At the library you can get out movies for free. The loan period is usually a week, unless you have a new release then it is four days (at least this is how it is at my library). They get all the major movies, plus some fun artsy ones and foreign films, if that is more your thing. While this means waiting until the movie gets released on DVD and BluRay, you can still see have a movie night, without the cost. Just think of how much popcorn you could have then!

There are also the RedBox movie rentals. These came to Canada a couple years ago. They are at most grocery stores. You can usually get a code for a free movie night. Without the code the cost to rent the movie is a dollar per day. While that is a pretty good deal, it is still a dollar a day, so you would want to return it pretty soon.

For me, I would rather get it for a week or four days for free, then have to remember to return the movie the next day. But you are guaranteed the new release while at the library the number of copies of the movie can be limited. There are ups and downs to both systems, but the bottom line is both these options help your bottom line.

2. Get Awesome Work Outs Through YouTube

This year I really want to get fit. I am already on my way to getting there, but, I still have a long way to go. As our budget is tight a gym membership is not going to be happening. Although, my friend volunteers at the daycare of her local gym in exchange for use of the equipment, so that might be an option for you.

Since going to the gym isn't going to work and it is winter time, so I don't really want to be going for long walks or runs outside, YouTube is a great option. Last May I found this awesome series on YouTube. It is called Bikini Body Mommy. You can view the website here. I love these workouts. Currently she has two complete 90 day challenges, her original and her 2.0. I have done the 2.0 and I loved it. She is huffing and puffing along with you. You know she knows exactly what you are going through as she has gone through it and is going through it herself. I haven't done any of her meal plans or anything like that but her workouts are awesome and you don't need any fancy equipment or lots of time. All it takes is 20 minutes and you feel like you have worked for hours. It is the perfect workout to fit in during naptime, as that is essential for me. She is currently releasing her 3.0 challenge. The first day was January 5th. I have been doing them and they are awesome too! You can check it out here.

There are other workout videos on YouTube. There are  learn to dance videos, zumba videos etc. Find something that works for you and have fun! Your body and wallet will thank you.

3. Get Your Books From the Library

While this seems like a no brainer, it is sometimes overlooked. I can't remember the last time I bought a book. Seriously, I am looking back and looking back and nope. I have no idea. It is also convenient because most libraries have a hold feature, so you put a hold on an item and then the people who work at the library walk around finding your items instead of you. It is a real time saver, and I normally have a runaway toddler on my hands so, it is a sanity saver too!

Now you might be saying, but Meredith, I only read ebooks now, hardcopies are so yesterday. Well, the library can help you there too. While many ebooks are not as expensive as the real thing, they still cost money. At the library you can borrow ebooks. You are given a limited amount of time for them to be on your device/computer, usually three weeks, but they are free to borrow, always. You can also download audio books as well. Super awesome and super cheap.

Since the library is funded through the city, you are already paying for its service through taxes or your rent, so you might as well take full advantage of what they have to offer you. (Check out their programs too. At my local library they are teaching soldering 101. I think I might get my husband to check that out.)

4. Create Restaurant Style Meals at Home

I like eating out as much as the next person. Knowing that I don't have to cook anything is bliss and worth almost any price. But eating out can also be pricey. In comes the genius of many people on the internet. While you still need to cook the food, you can now usually find recipes for your favourite restaurant meals online that will cost a fraction of the price and, in most cases, taste even better. To make it less drudgery on you have it be a family cooking night. Everyone helps out and is part of it. That way you at least can relax a little.

Some are recipes might even be good to keep in the freezer, so that way you can have a restaurant style meal that needs no prep for those nights when you really don't want to cook. So google and pinterest away and see what restaurant inspired meal you will have this week!

5. Use Your Points

***This is only good if you pay off your credit card every month and are still responsible in your spending, otherwise not worth it***

I use my credit card to buy basically everything. I rarely carry around cash, except for my monthly allowance money that I can blow on whatever I want, but when it's gone it is gone. My particular credit card allows me to collect points to spend at a nationwide grocery chain. I can either use my points to buy groceries, which can help cut down on the grocery bill, or I can use my points to get gift cards that the grocery store sells. These are gift cards to restaurants, home improvement stores, clothing stores, gas stations, etc. This is how I bought most of the materials for the Christmas presents I made. I also was able to treat us to a meal out New Year's Eve by using my points to buy a restaurant gift card.

I usually try to hoard my points until we are wanting to go out to eat, or if we know there are birthdays coming up so we can do that for as little money as possible.

I know there are other credit card reward programs out there that can help you with air travel or pays back a certain percentage of purchases. So, if you like using your credit card to make your purchases you might as well get a card that does some work for you. Do some research and get on that fits your style and make sure it is a free card. There is no point in paying for a card just to get points or premiums when there are free cards that let you do the same thing. And make sure that if you do collect points with your card, you use them.

Welcome 2015

from http://pulpypics.com/new-year-2015/

Here we are. 2015. I feel like we just started 2014. The year has gone by so quickly. Last year I had started with a list of goals I had for 2014. I failed in them utterly. I think I get distracted by life. There are so many things that pop up that I loose my focus and put things on the back burner. So I'm going to try to keep it simple on things I know can stay a focus no matter what life throws at us.

But, as life is ever a thing in progress there are some things that I want to be better at. One is organization. This year I am going to make a concerted effort to get rid of the junk. Last year I sort of did that, but over the past little bit I let it slide. I am definitely going to be more picky about what comes in and more liberal with what goes out.

Another thing that I want to be better at is my budget. The past few months have felt like a whirlwind and I just stopped keeping track of the money. Pretty silly, but it's true. So this year I am pulling myself up by the boot straps and going to start with the money again. We have some financial goals that we would like to see happen this year so I need to make sure I do my part to make our dollars stretch. (There will be probably more posts on this in the future). Our goal is to pay an extra $5000 onto our mortgage and have $5000 in our savings. I know those are modest sums, but, they will still need our focus and some lifestyle adjustments. I am excited by this.

And the last thing that I am going to focus on is getting fit. By this I don't mean becoming a stick. But I want to be active. I want to run around and not be exhausted by the end of it. I want more energy for my kids and I just want my body to be healthier. I started exercising in earnest in September so now I need to adjust the eating part of it and I should be good to go.

Do you have goal in your life that you are fine tuning in the New Year? Are you starting something brand new in your life? Do you have any tips for success? Leave a comment I would love to know how you keep focused.

12 Days of Decluttering 2014

For the past few years stores in Canada have been taking their cue from the stores in the United States and have been holding Black Friday sales. To me it seems a bit ridiculous, but then that's me. I just don't get why we have to copy things that are done in the U.S. especially since it isn't even a holiday weekend for us in Canada.

Right now, I am trying to limit the things that come into my house, so a sale on things, which is really trying to entice me to spend more and buy more things I don't need, and is merely a good deal, really doesn't thrill me. I guess I could be seen as being the antithesis of Black Friday, and that is o.k. with me.

As I have been thinking of the coming of the Christmas season and all that comes with it I have been thinking of my current junk and my lack of enthusiasm for doing anything with it. With Miss P. still not sleeping through the night I am tired. November is a blah month, where it isn't quite fall but winter hasn't quite set in yet. I find it the month of annoying transition, and I don't feel like doing much. But, Miss V. and Miss G. really want to get the Christmas stuff out and start the whole Christmas season.

Now I like Christmas as much as the next person. I love the music, the decorations, the baking and the lights. What I don't like is when my junk intrudes on the decorations and there is a mix of greenery and junk. It looks so horrible and detracts from the whole spirit of the season.

So with that in mind I have decided to launch the 12 Days of Decluttering and I am hoping you will join me.

What is the 12 Days of Decluttering? Well I'm glad you asked. This is something that shouldn't take a lot of time and add to the stress of the season. It should help you in the celebration of it. Every day for the first 12 days of December you will clean off one shelf, or organize one cupboard, or deal with stuff on one horizontal surface.

I am not asking you do clean out an entire bookshelf or your entire pantry. Just one small shelf. You can do that. This way your pantries will be ready for the baking, your horizontal surfaces will be ready for decorations, and hopefully you will have give away bags to take to your local thrift shop.

I will do my best to document my 12 Days of Decluttering. If you decide to join you can grab the button or leave a comment below. Let me know how you are doing with it. Share pictures of your success. Hopefully this will help all of us get out of this decluttering funk and help us be able to relax more during our Christmas time.

So you have the weekend to come up with your plan and then we start Monday December 1st. Have a great weekend!

A Way to Manage Your To-Do List

So we are finally at the original post I wanted to write about. To-do lists. But, what is funny is that when I was starting to edit my original musings and tried to get this post ready my to-do list exploded! I had a billion things that needed to get done. Hence the delay in posting. Oh, the irony of life. Well, let's get on with it.

Anyone who has any kind of responsibility has one of these. The dreaded, or the liberating, depending on your out look, to-do list. It doesn't matter where your responsibility lies, whether it is in a workplace environment or a home environment, to-do lists are part of life.

As a person, where the workplace is my home, I find the to-do list essential, yet daunting. When you work outside the home, you have a specific task which you are hired to do. At home you are the one who sets your tasks and sets your timetable. While this is liberating as you are able to do what you want when you want, it can be hard to do.

As stated in an earlier post, I really struggle with not having a defined set role. If I was just a cleaning lady, it would be much easier to get on with the cleaning. If I was purely a nurturer, then I would get on with nurturing the children. But because I am both, and more things besides, I feel guilty when I don't get all the cleaning done, or when I am not being the best mother, or when I let other things fall through the cracks.

There are so many things that I could do at home. Some of them are fun, such as, reading, playing games, going for walks, watching youTube and cleaning the bathroom. Some of them not as fun, such as, cleaning out the garage, dusting, scrubbing the tub and finding library books. And then there are other things that fall in between. Housework is never done. The mess is always there. It can be hard to be motivated.

Making a to-do list forces you to prioritize what you would like to do that day. If you need a day of leisure, your to-do list may comprise such things as a bubble bath, reading time and working on a craft. If you need a day to be industrious it may comprise such things as, cleaning the toy room, doing laundry and organizing the pantry. This helps you know what to focus on next and helps you make the best use of your available time.

Now I know that the list is never done there is always something you can do next. But you also don't want to get overloaded and burnt out. You need some guilt free time for you and your interests and goals. So this is how I manage my list.

Make your list the night before, if possible
When the kids are in bed and you have had a few moments to just breathe, you are in a better frame of mind to know what is essential to get done the next day. Things that didn't get done that day may not be as important as something else. You will be able to reflect on the day and figure out what the next day will be like. You also will wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose, instead of wondering what they heck you should do. It is always nice when you have a plan of attack then flying by the seat of your pants.

Only put 5 items on your list
I know you could probably put 100 items on the list, but don't. You can always add more when your list gets cleared. But, for now just think of your top 5. If your list is too long and you only accomplish 3 things, how are you going to feel? My guess, you will feel like a total failure, and that is not good. Seeing too many items on my list, makes it hard for me to stay motivated. It makes me feel guilty if I take a 5 minute break. It makes me stressed, when I do my mom stuff, and don't get the other items on the list done. I know a happy child is more important than a clean floor, but if I have a long list and I am playing with my little one I am not as present as I should be because I am worrying about the list.

So to keep myself to 5 items this is what I do. I do not use paper to write my list. If I get a piece of paper, unless it is really small,  it is big enough to write more things down, and that is a temptation I could fall into. Also, with paper, my little one will walk off with it, or I will write other things on it making it a jumbled mess. Paper is just no good.

My solution, a small chalkboard. At Staples they have the Martha Stewart line of Avery products.  They had a chalkboard sticker that fit on my pantry door perfectly. It is also just the right size for me to write five items down. I think it looks super cute and it is super functional.

When I complete a chore or item on the list I erase it off. If my list is done, or pretty empty and I still have plenty of energy and day left, then I can add on more items. It can act like a revolving door of sorts.

Have a mix of items
An important thing in my life right now is getting in shape. That means I need to have time for my workout. I put exercise on my to-do list everyday. While that may seem redundant and exercise should just be part of my life, I know that if it is not on the list other things will get in the way and I will be putting on my pyjamas and realize I didn't exercise. Having it on my to-do list ensures I will make time for my workout.

To-do lists do not have to be all about work. It is about finding a balance of work and fun. To-do lists for me help me not waste time during the day doing nothing. Believe me, if doing nothing all day was a talent then I would be an all-star. But then, I would feel frustrated because nothing would get done. And, the only one I could truly be frustrated at is myself.

So put on some of the housekeeping items, but also put on things you enjoy to do. This gives you the permission to do those activities without feeling guilty.

Be flexible
Things come up in life that are unexpected. If you had something on your list that you find just isn't going to work out that day, change it. Nothing is set in stone. If you think you can only get three things done, because one of the items will be more time consuming, that's fine. Just have the three things on your list.

It is also okay to have items that are on your list everyday. As stated above I have exercise on there everyday. Others may have sweeping or reading or laundry.

The to-do list is not there to make us feel guilty or stressed. It is supposed to be a tool we can use to help streamline our days and to help us prioritize what is the important focus for the day. I find that the to-do list helps me keep focus, helps me to stay motivated, and helps me feel accomplished. Nothing feels better then when you erase your last item on your list. It is great!

Do you use to-do lists? What helps you use them effectively? If you don't use to-do lists is there another system that helps you stay on track and not wander aimlessly through your day?

What Do We Want from Life?

Life is so full of choice. There are so many lifestyles and options available to us that it is rather overwhelming. With each choice there are consequences or sacrifices with each one. There is no perfect fit for everyone. If we choose to work outside our home, we are loosing family time and time to discover our own talents. If we choose to work in the home we are loosing money making abilities and sometimes it is hard to focus on ourselves. If we send our kids to school we missing seeing the look of discovery on their face and precious moments with them. If we home school our children we as parents miss out on our own down time during the day and may be kept more busy as we are doing the leg work for their learning.

None of the choices above are bad or good, they are just different and with them have different sacrifices. There are benefits to all the above choices as well.

What we need to decide is what is the lifestyle or life choice that we want to live. Some people, and from my own preceptions it is mostly women, seem to want to have it all. We all want to be Martha Stewarts, which is not a bad thing, it's just not that realistic. To think we can have the perfect house and the perfect cookies, and the perfect homemade costumes or gifts, and having the perfect job and the perfect income and with that creating a perfect family, while it is great to try to have the idea of it, ] it makes me exhausted just thinking about it. It is almost impossible to have all those things without having help. Instead we need to figure out what we really want. Not worry about trying to have it all, because some of "it" we don't actually want.

So, what are someways that we can figure out what exactly we want? What will make ourselves and our families the best we can be? For those things are highly individualistic. Here are some of my musings.

pictures from salon.com

1. Have a Family Meeting
Family meetings are a great time to connect and see how everything is going. It's a way for each member of the family to voice their hopes and dreams in a safe environment and when they can come together and brainstorm ways to make dreams come true. It is also a great way to help each other prioritize and possibly even come up with a family mission statement so that everyone knows what they are working for and why they are doing it. Through these meetings the lifestyle of your family can be set to everyone's satisfaction, or at least mostly satisfied. Everyone may need to sacrifice something that may not be as important for the time being and then focus on it later.

This is also a great way for the domestic engineer to voice where she or he needs help and get the family on board for the domestic work that needs doing. While not every domestic engineer is going to have a eager volunteers, every little bit does help. Especially when there are still young children in the home. It is amazing what little work you can do with a toddler around who likes to empty cupboards and drawers. If your family doesn't know that you need help then they won't know what to do. You need to let them know so that hopefully they will help you.

2. Priorities
It is so important to get your priorities in tune with your partner/family. If they are not in sync then it is really hard to feel focused. You will feel tugged in a billion directions as you are trying to make your priorities happen, while also trying to support your spouse in their priorities and then if you have kids, you want their priorities to happen too. That is too much for one person.

To some families having a big birthday bash for everyone's birthday could be super important. If that is the case then perhaps they wouldn't go on so many vacations. Or, maybe vacations aren't as important as focusing on good nutrition. Figuring out your priorities (financial, personal) is really figuring out where you want to direct your energies. So, if, for example, your priority is organizing the house, you need to direct your energy towards going through stuff, making decisions to get rid of things, not bringing in anything that is not vitally important. Now may not be best the time to go on some fad diet or becoming the chair of a volunteer committee. We only have so much time and energy so it is important that we direct to what is most important to us, otherwise frustration will set in.

3. Have Realistic Expectations
So you have your priorities all set, you have had a family meeting you feel you have a focus. Well, you may wake up one morning not feeling like having to do what you have set out to do. Or you may not receive the help that was agreed on. Or perhaps you start coveting the happiness you think others are having around you. Life happens. You have to take one day at a time. Try to stay focused, but if you have an off day, that's okay. The important thing is we have more on days than off. We just need to keep plodding along and not give up on what we know we can achieve. If you are making a major lifestyle overhaul it is going to take time. You and your family will need time to adjust.

My two older children asked for more consistent responsibilities. I was all for that and came up with age appropriate ones such as setting the table, sweeping the floor and making sure the clothes were off their bedroom floor. We discussed it with them and they were all for it. Well, I called Miss G. in and asked her to set the table. Well, she came in and said, "Mom, I'm a kid not a maid. Do I look like a maid to you?" Now I'm not sure where she picked up such phrases. I'm pretty sure I haven't said that, but then I may have. Well, I as calmly as I can (calmness is something I must work at sometimes, especially when I am getting dinner ready) I explained that this was her night for that responsibility and reminded her that she agreed to it and we all had to help. She still wasn't the cheerful helper I was envisioning, but she still did it. Would I have preferred a smiling, less exasperating child? Yep. But, I was happy with what I got, a set table. We aren't going to have everything workout like a movie where everyone is happy and helping, but if we keep it real, our expectations can still be met, just with a huge dose of reality.

These are just someways that we can get focus in our lives, and through that see results and happiness come. Happiness really starts with you, and then as a bi-product helps others be happy too. It is hard, life is not always easy. But, it can be joyful. We just need to get onboard with those around us and have realistic expectations. Next week I will talking about To Do lists, and how they can be a help in our lives.

What are some ways you are able to find focus and thus happiness in your life?

Okay Cosmic Forces. I'm listening.

I want to have my house completely de-cluttered. I can't handle all the extra junk we have around. My husband sees everything as treasures. As you can imagine this means we are often at a standstill. I seem to go through spurts where I am really gungho and can get through lots of junk and can keep on top of the regular day to day tidying and cleaning. Then I go into a slump of frustration and tiredness and not caring and then go back to my energetic "let's get rid of this junk" period. Do you go through those cycles too?

Well, I was beginning to get into my energetic period. I had lot of plans for last weekend and this week. I was going to get so many projects done. I was even exercising everyday and feeling great about attaining my personal goals and my household goals. Then it happened. I was trying to get around my 19 month old who was in the middle of the doorway and whack. I totally slammed my foot against the door frame. Now this wasn't just your average hitting of foot against something. My foot was going on full speed velocity, for I was sure I had enough clearance. Man did it hurt. I managed to hobble my kids to school in the morning. When I got back and looked at my toe it was swollen and started to bruise. It looked like the toes of the people in the movie WALL-E. Basically a chubby circle. Usually my toes are very slender. (The only part of me that is.) I was 80% sure it wasn't broken, and anything I read about toe injuries said that you needed to rest it and keep it elevated. So that's what I did.

Well, a week later, a trip to my amazing and talented chiropractor (Dr. Moeller of Vital-Links, as I said during the appointment, you are magic) and no longer having my husband refer to my as hobbilty hobbit (he really loves me, for serious), I have had time to reflect on my injury, my recovery, and what this might mean in the grand cosmic scheme of things.

I need to slow down and let things take its course. That is a very difficult thing to do. When I get in my "at the end of the rope things need to change now" mentality I want to just go, go, go and get everything possible done. I think I need to relax. Take things slow. Break things down into manageable chunks so I don't get burnt out and get into my slumps. I need to not overburden myself so I become resentful when I am not getting the support or glowing praise I think I should receive. I also have to prioritize what is important and not try to constantly please everyone, because when I do that I really don't please anyone.

I also discovered that I need to do a better job of teaching my children and husband that they are working parts of the household. While I may be the domestic COO they play an important role in the success of our family and household. Just because I am out of commission for a few days does not mean that things should get out of control and that I need to do with everything. We definitely need to have some give and take with each other and our roles. And take to heart the saying "first observe then serve". We need to always look out for each other and always think of ways we can help one another to make our burdens light.

Now, it is one thing to come to these conclusions and want to do better and have things change. It is quite another to actual implement the necessary changes. We are creatures of habit. We do not like to have to change our routines or ways. We may know we have to but the hard work involved sometimes makes feel overwhelmed.

So, how do we get over these feelings of overwhelmedness? I'm not sure. If I knew the answer for sure I think my life and relationships would be vastly different and at times less frustrating. But, I should come up with something to help with starting the discussion. So, let's see. Think, think, think.

1. Be completely open and honest about your hopes, dreams and changes that should be made. Unless you can clearly articulate and take the brave step of letting others know, changes and the help necessary to makes these changes happen won't be able to happen.
2. Get everyone on board. If you are trying to make changes that will affect your spouse, kids, or household in general, you need to get everyone on board or at least get their support. This might mean changing or modifying the end result that you have in your mind. This can be a good thing and you might end up with an even better result. It is much better when you can work as a team. Hopefully your family will be more willing to help out when they feel they are participating members in the process instead of being dictated to.
3. If you mess up don't beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up and keep on trucking. One misstep shouldn't derail the entire enterprise.
4. Accept your limits and then work within them. Instead of wishing things were different or wanting things that are just not feasible at this time, (like a new house or renovated kitchen) look at the parameters you have to work with and work within them. You will be amazed what you can accomplish without a lot.
5. Don't wait for others to take the lead. Once your family has come to a consensus don't want for one of them to take the lead. Do what you agreed to do. Even if they haven't done their stuff yet. Hopefully this example will help motivate them and they will do their commitments.

I am sure that there are other steps or better steps, but that is what I came up with. These are probably things I need to do for myself as these seem to be a lot of my foibles.

While having a very major bruised foot was not really my plan, I am thankful that I was able to slow down. That things that were annoying me were able to be discovered and I could figure out what was needed so that my family and I could become better. So while I am grateful, hopefully the next time the cosmos want to teach me something they do so in a less painful way.

Have a happy weekend!

Reshaping the Year's Goals

So my goals this year were to to have savings for three months of costs and a years worth of food. Man,  it has been tougher to do that then I thought. Repairs have come up that have eaten into the savings that we had saved. Thank goodness we had them. I do not want to use a line of credit again! And as for the food. Either I really suck at being thrifty or food prices have gone up. I budgeted what I thought was a reasonable amount of money to buy the food we need for the month and have some left over to add to the food storage, but it has been slow going. The past two months I don't think I have added anything! It is definitely time to renew my efforts.

But, I think I have discovered new goals that I want to work on as well. That is the great thing about life. We always get a chance to reevaluate where we are and what we want to do differently. While building up savings and food storage is still important to me and I want to do them, I have discovered that my focus is really not on that. My focus has been on clearing out the junk. Both physical and mental junk.

So my new goal for the rest of 2014 is to take control of my house and my head. We are going to go through all the boxes that we still have in the garage (from two years ago!) and get rid of the junk. Organize what we want to keep and get rid of all that doesn't fit. I am excited about this. My husband a bit less so. I am going crazy having to constantly look through boxes for things, to trip over boxes, having junk that we don't need all around us. It affects my mood, my energy levels, and thus it affects the kind of mother and wife that I am, and not in a positive way.

Do you find that? When you are overly cluttered, or not feeling as organized as you would like to be that familial relationships take the toll?

I know this will be a challenge for me but I am ready for it. I am not a naturally neat person, and I hate getting rid of groovy things, but if it is not adding to our happiness, then it really is not serving any purpose and so, has to go. I think that is the question you always have to ask yourself while you are going through your stuff. "Is this adding to my happiness or not". If something is adding to your stress, it has to go. Your health and your relationships are more important than a present that your aunt gave you that you aren't using. I think it might have been Hellen Buttigieg who said this, I can't remember, but whoever said "people give you things to bring you happiness. If it is not get rid of it. They would rather you be happy then hold on to it." (Totally paraphrasing but that is the gist. I am sure they said it way more elegantly then I did.)

The next thing that I want to simplify this year is my electronic time. There are so many distractions in the world. Facebook, pinterest, blogs, news sites YouTube. In today's world you almost feel this urgency that if I don't hear about this or see this on YouTube or whatever, that you have missed out on something great. In reality you can get on just fine without always having to be up on every last thing. I'm not saying you shouldn't be engaged in society, I'm just saying if you miss on little thing, it won't be the end of the world.

There are sometimes when I feel like I have been busy, but then I see what I have accomplished and it isn't much. It is because all my time is really being wasted by computer stuff. And not even useful computer stuff. I want to build a repertoire of healthy recipes. During nap time do I look them up? No, I have been checking email, going on facebook, doing everything but what I really want to do. Then I complain about it. Seriously! what is up with that?! Well it is time to pull in the reigns and evaluate how I'm spending my time. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do that. I don't like the idea of rigid schedules but maybe that is what I will need to do. Anyone have tips of how to make the best use of your time?

With distractions, cheap goods and a pull from the world around you it is challenging to simplify. I know, I'm living it now. But I also know that I won't regret going through this simplifying process. I know that it will bring greater harmony to myself and my family. We will be able to spend more quality time together than being worried about the stress of the stuff. I know de-plugging will us make our home a more productive place to be and that personal goals will be able to be better attained. Our focus will be able to be more narrow. It won't be easy but I am ready for the challenge.

Patience is a Virtue

Patience is sometimes hard to come by. It is something I am working on. But honestly! When I've asked five times for my one daughter to get her coat on I see red! But, as I said, it is something I am working on, and somedays are better than others. I think that is something we can say for most things.

The more I live (or try to live) my simple life values, the more I realize how much being patient plays a role. This is not the life for instant gratification. You can't plant your tomato plants one day and expect to find fully ripened tomatoes the next. We need to be patient, nurturing and learning individuals. Our gratification comes from hard work: keeping and maintaining our home, raising children, gardening, baking, cooking, keeping on budget, making items ourselves learning new skills... All essential, all hard work, all require patience.

This was brought home to me as I was tracking our spending and making sure we were on track with some of our financial goals. When my husband and I made our budget we chose a few household projects to accomplish this year and figured out how much money would be needed to be set aside for them. That's great. Look at us being all adulty and responsible. But, the waiting game starts. We know we have a plan, unfortunately the plan takes time and I want to get going right now! I want all the money saved up now. I want other projects to be happening now. I know I need to just stick to the plan and everything will work out, but, it is hard to fight off this sense of urgency. I guess I need to shut off that part of my brain somehow. I need to know I have a plan, feel confident in my plan and wait for everything to work out.

There will always be a to-do list, a repair list, a renovation list, a things to save for list. And, as much as it would be nice to get all those things done at once, it is an impossibility. We need to be patient, prudent and prioritizing. All our dreams can come true with patience and hard work. I guess the simple life isn't always so simple. But, it is worth it.

The Importance of Household Tasks for Children

I recently finished a book called Cleaning House: A mom's 12-month experiment to rid her home of youth entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma. (To read my review of it click here.) It really made me think about how I am parenting. Am I enabling my children to have a me centred life, where they think others are there to serve them and that the world revolves around them? Am I giving them responsibilities which teaches them the life skills they need when they eventually leave home?

There are so many stories in the news or news magazines that talk about adults in their twenties having their parents talk to university profs about assignments, or quitting jobs because the work is not interesting and they don't want to do it. I guess they assume if they fall on hard times their parents will be there to pick them up and take care of them. It is really interesting. I guess they don't feel the need to take care of themselves by themselves. (I know that not all people in their twenties are like that, but there have been more stories like that of late in the news.)

One thing the book talked about was the high levels of depression of people in their early to mid twenties. Even in teens the level of depression is going up. The author suggests that some of this is due to them not feeling needed. They feel that there is nothing unique that they are contributing and it wouldn't make a difference if they were not there. It shows how important it is that we make sure our children know they contribute to the family and that their contribution truly matters.

I am now inspired to make sure my children have tasks that only they do and that I equip them with important skills. My oldest is six. I am not wanting to pile on the tasks. She still needs to be a kid. But, I need to be giving her and my four-year-old tasks that they are responsible for. That way when they are older they will put on new responsibilities without too much resistance... hopefully. But to do this I need to have follow-through which, is not really my forte. But I know I need to do it, for their sake. Thus, I must get follow-through and lots of patience.

I think the patience will be the hardest part. I can wash lettuce faster, wipe the table more thoroughly and fold clothes more neatly. But, if I do it myself how are they going to develop the skill?

So I have come up with a few tasks that I am going to have the older two do. (My youngest is 10 months. Her task is to be the cutest baby ever! She is already a pro.)

1. Empty lunch bags when they come home from school.
2. Help sort laundry and put away their own clothes
3. Help prepare one meal a week. I am thinking they can help with the Saturday meal, swapping turns back and forth.

Once these are established I will add more. You have to start somewhere. You can't do too much too fast. Especially with my follow-through skills.

Some people set up reward systems to help with chores. I don't know how I feel about that. Sometimes in life you have to do something even when there is no gold star waiting for you. So, I don't think I want to go down that route.

The author of the book had a jar for each child with a dollar for each day of the month in it. If the chores were not done each day she would take out a dollar. Whatever was left at the end of the month was their's. I like that a bit better. It is still a type of reward, but I feel that they are earning it and that there is a consequence if their task is not done. With a sticker system, if the task is not done, they just don't get a sticker. They are not really losing anything.

Ugh! There are so many ideas and parenting styles. There is no set ways, just what you think is best. And I don't always know what is best. I wish that each child came with an owner's manual. Then we would know what would to do with each child.

How do you give kids responsibilities? How do you teach them? Do you use rewards or not?

2014 Simple Living Goals

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas surrounded by loved ones. It was nice to have a relaxing day. I kept loosing track of time. Luckily I remembered to get the turkey on in time!

The old year is coming to a close. A new year opens up like a clean page waiting for us to make our mark. As I reflect upon what impact I want to make on 2014 it gives me a chance to see what my current priorities are and what priorities may need to change. There are so many good things to do or to be. The challenge is to figure out what are the best things to do or be. A talk that was given my a man named Dallin H. Oaks entitled Good, Better, Best, sort of sums up how we need to view how we spend our time. What is best is different for everyone. We all have unique circumstances and need to figure it out for ourselves.

This year my family is going to make preparedness our focus, both financial and food storage.

Our Goals

• To have one years worth of food storage. My church has been advising us to do this for years. My parents always had a huge food stash and though I do have food on hand, it is not a years worth. Since being married we have collected some things but never made it a priority. This year is the year.
• To have 3 months of costs saved up. This means to cover our current financial obligations (mortgage and normal bills). For us that is around $9000. I know that other sites/experts recommend 6 months, and we do want to get there, but we need to think smaller for now. Saving up this money was really brought home when we had an unexpected brake repair that we were not completely prepared for. Man did we feel the pinch. I do not want to feel that again.

The more prepared you are the easier it is to help others and not worry about material things. These goals will hopefully help us reduce our consumption, think about purchases and plan ahead. I will let you know how I am doing.

Have you done food storage or a savings goal? What did you do to be successful? What are some of your simple living goals for 2014?