The Cost of Children

As part of the simple life, cultivating relationships is important. The relationship you have with family, especially children, is key to have happiness.

I was listening to the noon radio call-in show that is on CBC in Ontario. They were discussing the cost of raising children in today's society. Another new study came out with its estimate of what it costs.

The whole premise of the cost of raising children kid of irks me a little. To me, I don't think of my children as coming with a price tag. As soon as you think that, they start to become a commodity with an expectation of a return. Yes, it costs money to feed and cloth them, but even if you didn't have kids food and clothing would still be bought.

One of the callers said she would like a third child but did not want her other two to miss out on the activities that they were already doing. That made me feel sad. Children add so much to the home. That means there is some sacrificing and prioritizing. This woman's priority seems to be of material fleetingness instead of the blessing of having another spirit in her home.

While I was thinking about this whole issue I came up with the concept of the self-absorbed parent. This means putting what they think being a good parent is ahead of what the child actually wants. Parents think that they should put their children in every possible activity because a good parent does not deny any experience to their children. With both parents usually working outside the home, the children at school or daycare, I ask, when is the family time? When is the time for building relationships? We need to have time at home. We need time to eat together, work together, and share values together. If we, as parents, don't take the time to raising our children others will. That means the values we honour may not be passed to or shared with our children.

If we want our children to be kind we need to teach them and show them how to be kind. If want our children to serve others we need to serve as a family.

Now I love my children and want them to have many experiences, but I ask what they would like to do and they have to choose one activity. They can always change the activity each season but they have the choice. It is children led not parent imposed.

I guess that is why living the simple life is so important. It is a mindset of deciding what is truly important in life and making time for that. It is about being creative to attain what you want.

We live off one modest income. I do not feel deprived. We can eat, be warm, have a home. What more could we want. Children want to feel loved and secure. It does not take money to do that. Let's get away from self-indulgent thinking. Have kids, love them. Enrich their lives by spending time together. Don't think of your children as costs, think of them as fun times, learning and growing experiences. Enjoy!