And the Blessings Keep Coming!

Whether you believe in a higher being or karma or whatever it is amazing the blessings that come into your life when you are trying to better yourself or your situation and when you least expect it.

As you know I am really refocusing my efforts to become more organized in my life. This includes in my financial and household aspects. While being very much in the third trimester has slowed down some of my household efforts of getting organized (though I am okay with where I am) financially I am on the ball. I established my slush fund and it is working. My spreadsheets are working and keeping me on task and within budget. Right now we have a relatively healthy savings account (thank you tax return).

So things are looking up, but we knew we would have some unexpected expenses. Like a new bike for Miss G. The bike we had that was her size we bought for Miss V at a yard sale a couple years ago but it has ceased to work. And though my husband has looked at it and researched possible ways to fix it we just could not get it going. (Though why it is still sitting in our garage I will not know! I think I need to get him on the letting go of junk bandwagon.) So, a new bike was needed. We had gone around to a few yard sales and couldn't find anything. We were thinking we would have to buy new, which considering it would be for 3 kids wouldn't have been the worst thing, but it would have definitely been more expensive.

Here is where the blessing came in. We had decided that last weekend we would go out and buy a bike. It would eat into some of our savings but this was something that we needed. So I went grocery shopping in the morning, my husband went to the park with the kids and then in the afternoon we were going to go find a bike. Well, call it luck or divine intervention a school mom friend of mine happened to be at the playground at the same time as my husband. He happened to ask her if she knew of an economical place to buy kids bikes. And she said, "my shed". She had the exact size of bike we were in need of, and was about to get rid of it herself. She refused payment and we walked away with a great looking bike that is going to last us for a while!

Another thing I had to do was get some more summer clothes for Miss G and Miss P. I had been putting it off because I have so many appointments and by the time I got home I just wanted to relax. Well the same day as the bike miracle this same friend dropped off a huge box plus 4 bags of clothes that were the exact sizes and seasons I was looking for! So the majority of the shopping I was needing to do for the kids was done. There are a few things I still need to supplement but not much.

These two experiences has reaffirmed a few things. One, people are generous. We all want to help each other out. If you let people know what your needs are it gives them an opportunity to help out. Sometimes we feel we need to do everything ourselves or slog through things on our own. But, when we open ourselves to others magical things can happen.

Two, when you are trying to better your situation things work out to help you with that. I call it my righteous desire. When I am working towards a righteous desire things will conspire to help me in that. You may call it something else, but the principle would be the same.

This is not meant to be a braggy post about my families good fortune. It is more one of gratitude. It is one that shows when we are trying to do the right things we get blessings to help us with our goals. It is one to show that when we have a generous spirit generosity is given back. And it is about humility. When we are willing to humble ourselves great things can happen.

Have you ever had a time when you were supremely blessed with exactly what you needed?

You Need to Plan

This winter my mother was hit with some pretty severe health problems which prompted us, and by us I really mean my two sisters mainly, into action in figuring out what to do. It was clear that my mother would not be able to return living in her home, as my father has his own dementia issues and would not be able to help. My mother had been acting as his primary caregiver and we knew that this would not be able to continue.

Luckily for us, though my parents aren't the best financial gurus in the world, they had a plan. My father was a chemistry teacher and retired with a very good pension. Through other government programs and old age security my parents did not have to worry about how they were going to pay for a long term care home. The money was there. That made finding them adequate lodgings easier and allowed let us not have the added worry of "how are we going to pay for this". My father was lucky having a pension. Not all of us in today's society are as lucky.

This got me to thinking about the need to prepare financially for the future and being prepared in your life.

Thinking about the future can be hard to do. When you are young, I am considering myself in that category at age 33, there are a lot of demands and pressures on your resources. You may want to establish a career, and that could mean not being paid as much as you might like. You might be starting a family or adding to it. You want to buy a house. You want to have fun, fulfill your dreams now and live in the moment. That is on top of regular financial demands of food, clothing, lodging and utilities. Your money has a lot of places to go, many of those immediate and not wasteful.

While we need to think of our needs now, it is imperative that we think of the future as well. Yes we all may have the plan and dream to buy a home, pay it off, and stay in it as long as possible. And that is a great plan, but as my parents example illustrates, that is not always possible or safe. My mom's decline was swift and unexpected. My dad with his dementia could not be left alone, at all. The plan of staying in their house as long as possible was just not a reality they could entertain.

So, while you are young and have the power of compounding on your side it is important that you add the future (and I mean like 50 years in the future) to your list of places where your money goes. Yes it might suck when you have kids who need piano lessons, or you want to go on a trip to Cuba. But trust me, your future self and those responsible for you in your future will thank you.

So what can you do to help be prepared in your life? Many things. 

If you are working contribute to your company plan. Many companies will deduct a certain percentage from your pay check and will match it up to a certain percentage. Free money, yes please. Often you are able to decide how the money you are setting aside is invested. So check it out, you really have nothing to lose.

If your company doesn't have a plan, or you are self employed or on contract or simply want to save more open an RRSP (or whatever your country's equivalent is). In Canada you are able to invest a maximum amount (found on your income tax information) into an RRSP. The money is tax deductible which means a bigger return for you and the money grows tax free. You don't pay tax until you take it out, and by then you will probably be in a lower tax bracket. You can also open a TFSA for saving as well.

Try to develop thriftiness now so you can save for later. It is hard when you are starting out. You want everything and want it now. By finding ways to get what you would like cheaper and saving the difference, learning to do with out, or being a bit more creative with what you already have will help. Also, if thriftiness is something you develop now when you are older hopefully you will still have those habits and will be able to make your retirement dollars stretch farther, which is always a bonus when you are on a fixed income.

Come up with plans for different scenarios. You might not have to do this right now if you are in your thirties but it is a good idea to run through and plan for different ways your life could go. What will happen if you have health problems? Who will be able to help you? Children? Friends? Where will I be able to go? Can I afford private care or will I have to go into government assisted care?

Keep abreast of government programs and services available. As much as we sometimes might complain about the government they do have a lot of great programs available for a host of initiatives. While these programs are great they are not always the best advertised. So do your homework, it will help you not only with yourself but your parents or others who might be in a similar situation. Because of my sister's awesome diligence and knowledge she was able to get some renovations done at my parents home that was paid for through a government program. We were able to access PSWs for my dad and there were probably other things that I don't even know about that she could have set up if needed. The government does have programs to help. Do the research now so that when you need them you already know how to access them and you won't be feeling the stress and the crunch.

Swallow pride and ask for help. When you get help receive it graciously. Part of growing up is exerting our independence and proving to ourselves and other that we can do it on our own. While that is great there are times when we need to ask for advice and help to do things. And that is fine. That is the whole reason why people acquire skills, it is for their benefit and the benefit of others. If needed ask questions of others how they prepared for retirement. Go to a financial advisor. Start a money group to get ideas of how to deal with money, budget and plan. Ask people to help you organize and be thrifty.

Be realistic and flexible. Sometimes when we plan things still won't go the way we hope or think. You need to be open. This could be with how much you want to save now, it could be once you you are older you may not get your first choice of residence. We have to be take bearings of where we are accept what can be done with the resources you have and make it work.

Be kind and helpful to your parents NOW. They have done a lot for you, they may be slowing down but be patient with them. Accept them for who they are now. They are not going to be the same as they were. Yes you may morn that, but just move on and accept them for the person they are now. The better you are able to understand their circumstances and limitations the more you will be able to understand your own golden years and what might be expected. Often when my dad repeats his questions or retells his stories, I look at my husband and say "this is what you have to look forward to". Be kind.

Do what you can now to be healthy and active. If you are planning an active lifestyle when you are retired, then you better be active now. You aren't going to miraculously be active in retirement if you are sedentary and eating horribly now. That just doesn't make sense. Your ageing body is going to change. There are illnesses that you can't avoid. Genetics play a role in things. But the better you are able to take care of your body now, the less complications and the more illnesses and pains you may be able to avoid in the future. It never hurts to take care of your body.

Looking towards the future can be hard, especially when your present may seem demanding. But doing these few things will help you have peace of mind later on. No one wants to be a burden on their family. Doing a few things now will allow independence, option and choice later on. Things may not work out how you want. You may not be able to stay in your home as long as you want. But if you are prepared and have a bit of a plan that won't be a scary thing. The resources will be there to make the transition as smooth as possible. 

Time to Get Serious! Getting back to budgeting and taking care of the home.

This fall everything just stopped. I had morning sickness that made me a couch potato. I paid the bills but that was about it. I was not super careful about keeping track of the budget. Housework and organizing was not a priority. I was in survival mode. And, to be honest, sometimes survival mode is what we need to be in sometimes. Especially when dealing with nausea or other health concerns. Sometimes real life just gets in the way of our plans.

When you are at zero it is really hard to get going again. Who wants to have to be the responsible adult with housework and budgets and other things that just aren't as fun or as interesting as my latest book? It is really hard to get out of the survival mode funk, even when you are physically feeling so much better.

While it is hard to get back into the groove of things, and we might delude ourselves into thinking that it is so much easier just to ignore things, that attitude can come with a price. That price is feeling out of control and stressed. That is how I was beginning to feel. My handle on the finances and the amount we accrued on our line of credit did not make me feel happy. The junk that was starting to spread throughout the house and made things impossible was adding to the stress of daily living.

And here is a mini-rant: Why is it that if something is missing it is the mom's responsibility for finding it. Seriously! Who came up with the mom must keep track of everything and know where everything is at all times rule? It totally sucks! End rant.

Now that I am in the third trimester I know it is time to get serious. Baby #4 is going to be here sooner than we think. Another survival mode is right around the corner once the baby comes and it would be super nice not to be derailed again. The closer to the due date I get the more I get what Jim Gaffigan was saying about becoming a parent of four. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It is hilarious. You can see it here.

So what am I going to do?

It is definitely time to get serious about the budget. I was definitely lax with it, we probably bought more than we needed or didn't think everything through during my MIA months. Throw Christmas in there and bam! I am not where I wanted to be at this time.

So, now is the time to re-evaluate our expenses and see where the money is going and figure out where we would like it to go. While there are some expenses you can't do without, such as rent/mortgage, food, insurance and other utilities there are lots of expenses that you can do without, or not fund as much. Figuring out how you want your money to work for you while being responsible with the most pay bills is super important and allows you to have more of a focus on your financial goals.

Part of this evaluation process has led to the creation of a slush fund. This is where we set aside money every month for those things that come along annually but aren't a set monthly thing. This would include things like sport fees, clothing, renewals for licenses, activities for the kids, and so on. To create our slush fun we opened a free savings account (we used Tangerine) and have it set up to take out a set amount of money from our chequing account each month. As we spend in our slush fund categories we can take the money from the slush fund and put it on the Credit card or back in our chequing account (wherever we spent the money from). I know it is more transactions (though with our accounts we have free unlimited transactions) but it will make keeping everything separate and easy to manage.

To keep track of our slush fund spending and regular spending I created a google sheet and shared it with my husband. That way both of us can more easily keep our spreadsheet up to date. Thanks Google! When I buy the kids clothes I just go to the slush fund sheet and put in the amount I spent in the "kids' clothes" category. It shows me how much we had budgeted for the year and how much we have left.

How did I come up with the yearly totals for the slush fund amounts. I went over what we had spent over the year, or how much things cost, like license renewals and got my numbers. Some categories I padded what with inflation, or in the case of kids clothing, if I can't find it used and have to pay for it new. (And my kids aren't going without snow boots just because I can't find their size at the thrift store). Every year we can go over and adjust the category amounts, but I would rather allot too much than too little.

Now that my spreadsheets are made, the slush fund is created and semi-functioning and I feel more organized in the finances once again I feel excited to challenge myself to live below the budget numbers I have set out. I look forward to challenging myself to be austere but still have fun. I look forward to putting more on the mortgage so we can get rid of that millstone around our neck. I am looking forward to see where we are at by the end of the year, and reflect to see if these changes, especially the adoption of the slush fund are working well for us. It is going to be a good year. I just need to make sure I stick with it, because I am the factor that will make it work or not.

Now is the time to get serious about stockpiling.

While I was researching ways to help cut food waste and keep groceries down, everyone talked about stockpiling. I sort of do this, but I found it confusing to implement for a long time. I still sort of do. But this is what I am going to do to get ready for June and to hopefully carry one with afterwards.

I am going to make sure the freezer is full of easy to prepare foods. That way my husband can make food without asking me a billion questions. And, when I am tired and not wanting to do anything I can just go down into the freezer and there will be something that I can throw into the crockpot in the morning or in the oven if it is later. Living in the city is so easy just to say "pick up a pizza on your way home" or "let's go out, I don't feel like cooking". But I know that this will not help with our budget, waistline, or health in general. Now, there is nothing wrong with going out, but you should do so for something special not the norm.

To cut down on some of the produce waste I have I am starting freeze whatever I can. Lately with apples I have been peeling and chopping them and throwing them into freezer bags. I usually put four cups in each bag. (Four cups gives me enough to make an apple crisp, and I love apple crisp!) I have also done that with peppers. That way I can just throw them into fajitas or other meals when I want some extra umph. Did you only use half an onion. Chop up the rest and freeze it. There are so many little ways, that don't add much to your time that can help reduce food waste and make food prep easier down the line.

I am starting to do the sale thing more where I stock up for 6-8 weeks of food that is on sale. And these are foods that I would have bought at full price anyway since I use them. It is not much use if you aren't going to use it, even if it is on sale. It's not a deal unless you use it has been my mantra for a while.

Slowly but surely I think I will get this whole thing figured out. But for now, I just want to make sure there is food in the freezer for when baby #4 makes its grand debut. Otherwise, who knows what we will eat!

Now is definitely the time to get serious about getting rid of the excess. The more stuff you have the more stuff you have to look after. And I think looking after the actual kids is enough. I don't want to have to look after all the stuff too.

So what I am doing to battle the craziness of stuff. Well I am overhauling almost everything. I am trying to maximize the storage I have and put things where they make the most sense. I am getting rid of paper clutter and staying on top of the papers that come in. I cleaned out the medicine cabinet this past week and got rid of all the expired medications and ointments etc. (Make sure to dispose of those in a responsible way. You can take them into your local pharmacy and they will make sure they are disposed of correctly.) It is amazing how much space you have once you take the time to actually get rid of the things that are expired. Seriously, why was I hanging on to it? I am reorganizing cupboards to help things function better. Visual clutter is being put away. It is so nice to have an item and know exactly where it's home is instead of shoving it somewhere and hoping you remember where you put it.

Matt is almost done our new office space. He just has baseboards to put up so that means the office will be moving. That will be exciting because we will be able to figure out what we want to keep and how we want to store it. I am excited for this liberating move and the chance to get rid of even more things!

On the kid front, a couple months ago I was a "mean" mom and took all the toys out of their bedroom. There room was just a mess with paper and clothes and toys. It was too much for them to be able to handle by themselves. So I took everything out put it in boxes and moved those boxes to the garage. They were able to keep a couple stuffies but that was it. And you know what? They have been able to keep their room neater, though I still have to remind them about putting their clothes in the laundry. (Seriously the laundry hamper is a foot away from where they get dressed, not even, just put the clothes in the laundry!!!) And you know what else? They haven't even asked for any of their stuff back! Once I am done with the office I will go through the girls' toys with them and we will see what we can get rid of. I am not completely heartless (only mildly so). But I think what we are learning is they don't need that much stuff. Less is truly more. You can have more happiness when you are not drowning in junk. With less stuff, will be less upkeep, will be spending more time with the people I love and doing the things I love. That sounds heavenly to me.

While this at times feels like pulling teeth, it is time to get truly serious about getting the kids involved in the upkeep of the house. Especially their own stuff. It is important to break the cycle of apathy and laziness that quite frankly they inherit from their parents. (Seriously, give me a hammock and my book any day over sweeping.) While I still want them to have the fun and joy of their childhood, now is the time to help them get into good habits that won't make them a nightmare roommate.

This means, helping with laundry, wiping the table, emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, sweeping and dusting. While they help with these everyday tasks, it means I can focus on the organizng of the house and the running of the home. It means I can invest my time in some of the bigger aspects of life and be less stressed in general because I know I have a team of kids (plus husband) who are helping with the little things that when go undone makes everything worse. Miss P loves having jobs to do. She loves helping to tidy and loves helping to sweep. Now is the time to harness this williness, as Miss V, who is almost 9 though seems more like 15 does not have the same enthusiasm. We may have missed the boat with Miss V, but here is the next one to put her on. We'll get there.

Hopefully doing all this, keeping better track of our finances, stockpiling, getting rid of the excess in our home and getting the kids involved will help us get organized and back into some good habits. My hope is this will help to simplify our lives, allow our family to be more joyful and be able to live a more full life. And, if it can crank down the stress I feel, and know I will definitely feel once baby #4 comes, well that is a a big fat bonus!

Getting into the Swing of Things

Well, it has been a while. It is crazy how your whole schedule and gumption to do things can get so disrupted and how hard it is to get back into the groove of things.

This past fall has been a bit, not crazy, but inhibiting. I had crazy horrible morning sickness from about October until just before Christmas. Most days I just lay on the couch reading to Miss P and watching kids shows on YouTube. Every time I went to do something productive (not that growing a human being isn't productive) I would stand up, feel nauseous and decide nope, not going to do anything today.

I have been feeling good for quite a while now, but it is amazing how hard it is to get back into the swing of things. My organizing schedule is not there, my will to tidy is not there. Why move when the couch is so inviting. It is hard to change your habits, especially when you are used to sedentary ones.

So, now I am feeling back. Today I organized our hall closet, went through the bathroom drawers and cupboards. I got rid of the expired ointments and medications and have switched things around, so hopefully things will be easier to access and use. I am definitely feel a sense of accomplishment.

Because of my lazy fall, it meant not much got done on the office we are redoing. But, we (and by we I really mean my main squeeze) have finally put up drywall and it has been mudded. We are fixing some other other wall imperfections and once that is all done (hopefully by next week) we will be painting and then putting the floor down. My goal is for the office to be moved in by the end of the month and Miss G moved into her new bedroom.

Because baby #4 is coming in early June, it means there will be more bedroom rearranging in the near future, but at least, for the time being, things will be settled. (And the baby doesn't really need its own room for the first few months anyways).

As for the blog, I will hopefully be back into the swing of things too. I probably won't be blogging every week. But I will try for at least a couple of times a month. I should be able to handle that.

So heres to a busy and productive spring and hopefully some interesting posts.

Thanks for stopping by.

A Mending Miracle!

I am definitely an "out of sight out of mind" type person. If something is not in my visual range, I won't think about it or deal with it. Right now we have the curtains over the back door shut, so I don't see the leaves that are piling up over our yard. I guess there is no raking for me! ;)

So this brings me to mending. If I have something that needs to be mended I put it in my bottom drawer of my desk with the thoughts that I will get to it, eventually. Well it is embarrassing to say that a lot of the items in my mending drawer have been in there for over a year! I just don't sit at my desk as much as we are in the middle of changing things around so the office is a glorified dump zone right now. If I do sit at my desk it is usually because I am performing a different task with the mending in the bottom drawer not even a blip on my radar.

Well, just over a week ago, I finally decided that I was going to mend. And mend I did. I cleared out my whole drawer and mended everything except a dress that I was supposed to put a pompom on. I'm not sure where the pompom got to. I will have to go on the hunt.

It felt so good to have that task, that had been hanging over my head forever, to be done. My kids now have usable clothes again and all it took was like 45 minutes, not even, of my time to get it done. By mending it saved me money and garbage space as I didn't have to discard the items and go shopping for more clothes.

While there are times when something is not worth fixing or it has been so destroyed it just won't work, most of the time it is worth patching that little hole, or reenforcing that seam. As it was reinterated to me while I was doing it sewing and mending is really a worthwhile skill to learn. It may take some practice and your first attempts might not be perfect, but in the end it is worth it for your own sense of accomplishment and for your desire to by thrifty. You don't need a fancy sewing machine, just a needle and thread and bam! You can be a lean mean mending machine.

Hopefully, from now on, as the mending comes in, I will be more on top of it and not let it pile up again. But even if that does happen, I know I will have a mending miracle day!

My Chicken is Loving the Crockpot

 I love the crockpot. Seriously, is there anything these bad boys can't do? I think I even saw something on my facebook newsfeed saying you can even bake bread in it. That is something I think I might have to investigate further.

Lately I have been using my crockpot to cook chicken. I have been making a lot of recipes that call for shredded chicken and makes using the crockpot perfect as the chicken is so moist it just falls apart and hardly needs any manual shredding.

This saves time and effort. Through in the chicken, through in a bit of water and sit back and let the crockpot do the rest. Amazing.

One of my favourite recipes right now has been chili-lime chicken, served over cilantro-lime rice, and spicy black beans. I got this recipe from a church function, not sure what the original source was, all I know is that it is amazingly yummy.

Chili-Lime Chicken

2-3 chicken breasts
3 limes, juiced
2 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tbsp garlic powder

In a large ziploc bag, or a different container, mix all ingredients together and marinate overnight. Put in your crock pot and cook on low for about 6 to 8 hours. (Play with the time and see what works best for you. Sometimes I forget to put it on so I put it on high for two hours and then on low for about two hours.)

see how nicely the chicken shreads

Cilantro-lime Rice
1 cup of rice
1/3 cup chopped cilantro
1 1/2 limes, juiced
1 tbsp butter.

Cook rice as you normally would. When cooked add the cilantro, lime juice and butter. Stir until mixed and enjoy. So yummy.

Spicy Black Beans (forgot to take a picture of this)
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion chopped
1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)
1 tbsp chili powder
1 cup chicken broth, water is fine too

combine all ingredients and leave to simmer until the consistency looks good to you.

How we usually eat this is sort of like a taco salad. So we put the rice on the bottom then add the chicken and beans. You can also add other toppings. Some of our favourites are corn, tomatoes and avocado. But you could do cheese, salsa, sour cream and more. Whatever you think will be good probably will be.

What are you cooking in your crock pot lately?

Recharging the Batteries

This past week was stressful. Mostly because the potty training was not going well at all. And then put on top of that lost shirts and lunch meal planning and feeling like I was getting nothing done... let's just say I was not my best self. 

So in a pleading phone call I asked my husband to take sometime off work so I could be by myself and recharge.

Now, since Wednesday, when I decided not to continue with the potty training, for now, the needing to recharge feeling wasn't as strong, but I still felt it was important to do something for me so I did.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I don't often get the chance to sit and think about what I want to do just for me. (That's not me complaining or feeling "oh poor me" or a call for sympathy, it's just the reality of being a busy mom of three, and that is okay.) I knew I wanted to do something active. The weather was so beautiful. I knew I wanted to do something that I haven't done yet that I really wanted to. So, I decided to walk part of the Trans Canada Trail, from the St. Jacob's Market to the actual town of St. Jacobs.

I love the idea of the Trans Canada Trail. It is neat to think that the trail I'm walking on could eventually connect me to places all across Canada. And that's no small feat considering, to quote the band The Arrogant Worms, "Canada's really big".

The section of trail I was on today wasn't super busy. I saw a couple of cyclists and a family sitting on one of the benches. But that was it. Just me, the trail, and the sound of birds and cars. This section of trail runs beside a highway, so it was rather loud. Not the best for soul searching in nature, but I'll take it.

I love the little curves under the canopy of trees. This will look beautiful in a couple weeks with fall colours

It's a bit fuzzy but this is one of the views of a farm from the trail.

I am looking forward to trying out some of these trails soon.

The Conestoga river. There was a nicer view at a different spot but people were there and I didn't want to intrude.

It is so important that we take the time once in a while to charge our batteries, and if possible, to find out what that thing would be that recharges us. When you are busy and have other people to be concerned with it can be hard to find what helps to refuel you as you are busy helping to refuel others.

While I was on my walk, I realized how much I missed these strolls in nature. When I was growing up we lived on 80 acres of wilderness. We had made our own trails throughout the property and every Sunday and sometimes more we were off on a walk to the see the beautiful spots we had discovered. We had a waterfall, an old mine, and a great loop through what we called the 12 acre wood. It was great to walk, to challenge yourself with the hills, to see the beauty of nature and the change of seasons. It was nice and peaceful and when I think about those walks I think of bliss and love. I definitely was living the good life. 

Now the thought of going for a walk with family does not incite feelings of joy. We have kids who complain about walking, or who walk too slow or walk too fast, or don't want to wear proper foot wear, or need water, or want to bring dolls or want in the stroller or out of the stroller, or are hungry, or are needing a bathroom even though they just went, and on and on. Not very relaxing is is. This walk taught me that I don't always have to drag my family along. It is okay for them to drop me off somewhere and me to just go by myself and reconnect with me. And by doing that they are probably going to get a better me in the process. Eventually I will invite them along, but for now I need to do these things for me.

There are so many other things that people can do to recharge. What do you like to do?